


Simple Moments

by MissAdoration



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, Birthday, Christmas Fluff, Dancing, Easter, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Religious Content, Running, SHIELD, Sick Clint Barton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-22 21:18:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 28,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6094282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissAdoration/pseuds/MissAdoration
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little insight into what happens at SHIELD besides the craziness that happens within the stories of “Love Through the Pain”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Praise You In the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> So I am going to be starting a series of one-shots that gives you a little insight to what happens at SHIELD besides the craziness that happens within the stories of “Love Through the Pain”. The first story in this series was actually written while it was storming outside my house. Enjoy! And for those of you that are interested, the next installment in this series will be about one of my favorite hobbies, dance.   
> And thanks to the wonderful VBProdz for making this image for me.

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” ~Psalm 56:3 

Of all the nights that it had been raining in DC, this night was probably the worst. Not only was there severe thunderstorms and heavy rain, but the weather man was also saying that there was a chance for tornadoes. Now, on a normal night or a summer night in Iowa at Clint’s farm, this would be OK. Tonight however was NOT normal and they were not in Iowa. Clint, Steve, and Natasha had just gotten home from a 2-day mission in Seattle, Washington tracking some 084’s and all were injured. Clint was the worst. He had suffered a gunshot wound to the abdomen and nearly died on the way back. The experience left Natasha shaken to her core.

All throughout the debriefing session with Coulson, the storm raged on. Lightning lit up the whole room, followed by a big clap of thunder. Natasha jumped in her seat almost every time. She almost couldn’t talk. Fortunately Steve jumped in and said what she couldn’t. Once the debriefing session was over, everyone retreated to bed for a well-deserved night’s sleep. Now, Anna Flannigan, the newest SHIELD agent as of last month, wasn’t on the mission herself, but she was worn out from a 5-mile run that she had earlier in the day.

The storm seemed to be getting worse and worse by the second. Natasha was shaking as she laid down on the bed.

“It’s OK, Nat,” Steve soothed. “It’s just thunder.”

Natasha could hardly speak. For as long as she could remember, she always had a fear of thunderstorms. The sound of thunder drudged up one too many memories of guns being shot, killing innocent people. The lightening also drudged up memories as well. The lightening reminded her of fire that would light up the sky after an explosion.

More thunder could be heard, and it wasn’t in the distance. It was close by. Natasha thought she almost felt the room shake. Steve was doing his best to comfort her, but it wasn’t helping

“Shh, Nat. It’s OK. It’s OK. I’m right here,” he soothed as he rubbed her back.

“When will it stop?” she asked.

“I wish I knew.”

A hard knock on the door made Natasha shudder in Steve’s arms.

“Steve! Natasha! Wake up!” a voice shouted. It was Coulson. Steve was out of the bed in an instant. Something was wrong. Coulson would never come to their door in the middle of the night.

“Steve!” Natasha cried as she tried to grab his hand. Steve quickly turned his head to look at her outstretched hand. She was desperate for him to come back and hold her.

“Just hang on, Nat It’ll be alright,” he said as calmly as he could .The fact that Coulson was still knocking urgently at his door was making him nervous.

“Sir?” he said when he opened the door.

“We need to move to safety. There’s been a tornado sighting about a mile and a half from here.” Coulson answered.

“Where to?”

“Clint and Anna are already in the detention level. It’s the only place in this entire base with no windows.” Coulson answered.

“OK. We’ll be right there.”

Coulson nodded and headed toward the staircase to the detention level, which was one floor below them. Meanwhile. Steve rushed back to the bed. Natasha was curled into a tight ball

“Nat,” he called softly as he placed a hand on her shoulder. She stiffened despite his light touch and threw her eyes open. “Shh, it’s OK. It’s just me,” he soothed.

“What’s happening?”

“We need to move to the detention level. There’s been a tornado sighting.”

Natasha stared at him with wide and panicked eyes. Besides the medical bay of SHIELD, the detention was the last place she wanted to be. It was probably related to something from her days in the Red Room, but she never told anyone about it. If there was ever a reason that she had to go down there, she would always go with Steve or Clint.

Before she could think, Steve was helping her out of bed and leading her to the door, but because of how scared and shook up she was, she couldn’t make her legs cooperate. She barely made it out of the room as lightening once again lit up the room. A clap of thunder quickly followed, causing Natasha to fall to the ground, nearly pulling Steve down with her. Acting quickly, Steve put her arm around his shoulders and slipped one of his under her knees.

“Easy, Nat. I got you,” he soothed as he lifted her up.

She grabbed Steve’s shirt and held tightly to it as he carried her to the staircase heading toward the detention level. She was shaking heavily in his arms.

“Easy, Nat. It’s OK. We’ll be alright. Shh. It’s Ok.” He whispered this over and over as he carried her down.

By the time they made it, Natasha was breathing heavily and sweating. Steve laid her down on the cot and stroked her forehead, which was slightly covered in sweat.

“Steve…” she whispered.

“I’m right here, Nat. It’s OK.”

Another clap of thunder echoed in the sky. It sounded louder than before. Natasha gripped Steve’s hand when it hit. Her eyes were closed.

“Cap, is she OK?” Anna asked as she walked over to where they were.

“She’s been like this since we went to bed. I don’t’ know what to do,” Steve answered.

“Let me try something,” Anna answered. She carefully placed her hand on Natasha’s shoulder.

“Nat, can you look at me?” she asked quietly. Very slowly, Natasha opened her eyes and did her best to focus on Anna, who looked very calm and relaxed.

“I’m scared,” she whimpered quietly. Anna barely head it, but she did.

“I know. I know. It’ll all be over soon,” Anna soothed. Steve moved away to allow Anna to try and comfort his frightened wife.

“I used to be scared of thunderstorms too when I was younger,” he heard Anna say.

“How is it you’re so calm now?” Natasha asked.

“When I’m scared, there’s a verse in scripture that I sorta sing to myself over and over again. I learned it when I was a little girl.”

“What is it?”

Anna took a breath and then began to sing. “When I’m afraid, I will trust in you.” Natasha was starting to relax the second Anna finished. Steve could see that Anna was getting through to her.

“Try it with me. When I’m afraid, I will trust in you.”

It took a couple of tries, but Natasha finally caught on and was singing the words. Even Steve joined in.

“Better?” Anna asked. Natasha nodded as her eyes started to close.

“Thank you,” Natasha said. All too soon she was asleep. Steve nodded thanks to Anna and laid down gently by Natasha’s side. The cot was a little small, but he managed to position himself around her sleeping form.

The storm continued to rage on through the rest of the night. Clint, who was still sleepy from the sedative that he had been given earlier, had no idea that Natasha was upset. All he heard was two voices singing, and that was enough to put him at ease.

The following morning, everyone emerged from the detention level. Thankfully, the tornado never reached the base, but there was severe damage to the surrounding areas. As soon as Clint was able, everyone would go out and help with clean up in any way they could.

 


	2. Hidden Talent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is inspired by real life, as in this is a true story. No copyright infringement on the song titles that were used. And for those of you that are wondering, we’ll be switching things up a bit in the next installment

_“Unashamed, I will dance. In Your name I lift my hands. Till my heart looks like your heart. My heart looks like your heart.” ~Chris Tomlin “You’re Heart (David)_

Everyone knew that Natasha was a dancer, but no one knew that Anna was a dancer too. That was something that she had never shared since joining SHIELD and it never came up in conversation. Perhaps Anna knew that dancing drudged up one too many memories for Natasha, thus why no one saw her. Well, actually, someone did see her. That someone was everyone.

On one typical day at SHIELD, the base was relatively quiet, or was quiet. Natasha nearly punched a wall when she heard Anna blare a song loudly from her room. It was later revealed that the song was called “impossible” by a group called Building429. Another day, Steve walked passed and caught Anna dancing to another song that was much slower than “Impossible”. That song ended up being “Love is Not a Fight” by Warren Barfield.

When asked about her dancing and the loud music, Anna just smiled and said it was just a hobby. Natasha didn’t believe her. She thought that Anna was secretly taking lessons from someone. Who couldn’t blame her? When she walked by Anna’s room a different day, Anna was dancing to a song called “Great, Great God” by Phillips, Craig, and Dean, and her arm movement was beautiful. Not only that, her jumps were amazing. She reminded Natasha of herself when she was a dancer in the Red Room.

There weren’t too many memories that Natasha had of herself dancing. Most of them were drowned out by the bad memories of her killing innocent people. Somehow watching Anna dance reminded her of herself.

“You are beautiful, Natalia,” the instructor would say.

Then one day, the music stopped.

“Impossible” would be heard, but not as loud. “A Thousand Years”, a song by Christian Peri would be heard too, but not as much. It was later learned that while Anna was working on a routine for that song, she took a wrong step and rolled her ankle. The pain was so severe that Anna had to lay on the ground for about 10 minutes or so. No one saw her go down. She was by herself. Everyone else was doing their own thing. The only time they saw her was when she limped to the kitchen to get an ice pack.

It was Clint that found her with the ice in her room.

“Anna, are you OK?” he asked.

“I rolled my ankle really bad,” she responded.

“Are you going to be OK? Should I get Dr. Anderson?”

“No, I’ll be OK. Just really upset about this.”

“I know. Nat says you dance really well,” Clint said.

“Tell her I said ‘thanks.’”

“I will. I think she’s asleep.”

“Asleep? Is she OK?” Anna asked as she somewhat sat up.

“She’s alright. Just a long day for her,” Clint answered. Anna breathed a sigh of relief. “Get some rest. I’ll bring you some food later.”

“I’m not that injured, Agent Barton,” Anna responded teasingly.

“Fair enough, Agent Flannigan, but I’m still bringing you dinner.”

Anna sighed and laid back down on her pillow to rest.

* * *

 

 It was a week later and Anna still wasn’t dancing. Her ankle was almost better, but it wasn’t quite there. Perhaps it was because all of the running she was doing for the half-marathon. Occasionally, Anna would try a few dance elements, but always stopped before feeling pain. Natasha was getting worried about her. She wondered if she would ever see Anna dance again. She actually wanted to one day see if she could help Anna improve on her skills.

On one rainy afternoon, Natasha wandered into the training room because she thought she heard music. It was that love song by Christina Peri that said the words and she and Steve said to each other. It was a very beautiful song. Natasha nearly cried when she heard it. Sure enough, Anna was in the training room kneeling on the ground. Her brownish-red hair was pulled back into a bun and she was wearing a coral pink sundress with spaghetti straps. She looked beautiful.

As Natasha got closer, she noticed a strange expression on Anna’s face. Anna looked like she was scared to even move. Her eyes were closed, and she wasn’t wearing her glasses. Was she crying? Was she remembering the day that she fell?  

“Anna?” Natasha asked quietly. Anna opened her eyes and looked at Natasha, who had knelt down beside her. “Are you OK?”

Anna nodded slowly. “I want to dance again,” she whispered.

“Is that why you’re all dressed up?”

“Yes. This was the outfit I wanted to wear if ever I got to film this dance,” Anna answered.

“It looks beautiful on you.”

“Thank you. It was my Easter dress last year.”

Natasha nodded and continued to stay with Anna as she kneeled on the ground. Her head was lowered as the song played on. Slowly, she placed a hand on Anna’s shoulder, causing Anna to turn and look at her.

“One day, you will dance again. And I’ll be here to watch.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. I’ve seen you before, and you’re amazing.”

Anna nodded “thanks” to Natasha and turned her head away. Meanwhile, Natasha stood up and quietly left the room, leaving her some privacy to think about dancing again.

Minutes later, Natasha returned with a water bottle, and when she did, she was met with an amazing sight. Anna was on her feet and dancing again. Her left arm was extended above her head and she slowly brought her right hand up and twirled. Her dress fluttered as she twirled and then jumped in the air, and was about to land on her right ankle, the one that she had rolled last week.

“Don’t fall,’ Natasha whispered to herself.

Anna didn’t fall, instead, she landed perfectly, and she went right into her next element, extending her left arm in the air and leaning back as far as he could.

“Krasivyy,” Natasha said quietly. Anna heard her and stopped.

“Spasibo.”

"You speak Russian?” Natasha asked as she came back into the room and handed her the water bottle.

“A little,” she responded after taking a sip. “So, what did you think?” she said as she sat down on the ground to take off her ballet slippers.

“It was amazing. I’ve never seen anyone do that element as gracious as you,” Natasha answered.

“If my ankle wasn’t sore, I could probably do it better.”

“It was still beautiful, and I liked it.”

“Thank you,” Anna answered. She then took another sip of water, stood up, and grabbed her ipad and paused the music.

Natasha smiled as she watched Anna walk out of the room, water bottle and ipad in one hand, and her ballet slippers dangling in the other. A few strands of hair were slowly falling out of her bun, but she was beautiful, and she had danced for the first time in a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Krasivyy: beautiful  
> Spasibo: thank you


	3. The Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this “Simple Moment”, besides being a gap-filler between my stories “Simple, But Beautiful” and “Forever Changed”, answers a prompt from thegraytigress about Natasha taking care of Steve. This also features something else that I know she likes. Might want to have a tissue out for this one. Up next, a birthday celebration for one of our characters.

He always took care of her.

Now she had to take care of him.

It was about 2 weeks after their wedding. Steve was in London, England, and there was a reason for that. He was here to visit the gravesite of his first love, Peggy Carter. Peggy had passed away while he and Natasha were both recovering from their injuries in Russia. She also gave him one of her lungs when she learned he was dying.

With everything that happened after Steve and Natasha returned from Russia and the wedding, he never had the chance to grieve for her loss. Natasha understood. She knew briefly who Peggy was from Steve’s stories and had met her only once.

“Take as long as you need,” she said before he left.

“Clint will take care of you,” he replied as he kissed her. He knew that she would still have a few nightmares about her recent captivity and sometimes Clint had to come in to comfort her. He had learned that Natasha had developed a stronger trust in him, and that’s mainly because he was the one who rescued her and had been by her side while he was recovering from two gunshot wounds.

There was about an inch of snow on the ground and more was to come later that evening. Steve didn’t care. Despite memories of being frozen in ice, he loved the winter, and that was mainly because of Bucky. When he wasn’t sick, he and Bucky would build a snowman in each other’s backyards. Peggy also loved winter ever since being a little girl. She said that she loved seeing the trees and buildings covered with snow, boys and girls playing outside, herself playing outside as a little girl, and Christmas, especially Christmas. She loved seeing all the decorations in the stores, trees with lights and ornaments and tinsel in people’s houses, and giving and receiving gifts to family and friends.

Steve would’ve done this around Christmas, but with Natasha still being in fear of going out, he didn’t want to leave her alone and he wasn’t sure if she wanted to go with him. So he came alone, leaving her at the base in the protection of Clint and Coulson.

Despite it being winter, he was still able to find a plant to place on her grave. It was a bright red poinsettia, which had been Peggy’s favorite color. Steve knew because she always wore red lipstick, even during the times when he would go to nursing home to see her, she always had her red lipstick on. She said she always wanted to look pretty for Captain America.

He paid for the flower and continued to the cemetery, which was about a half a block from the floral shop. Upon reaching the spot where she was buried, which he had learned from Sharon before leaving, he set the flower down and moved his hand across the stone, feeling the letters that were engraved there. They read

_Margaret “Peggy” Carter_

_April, 1921-November, 2014_

_SSR, SHIELD, founder of SHIELD_

He continued to stay crouched down, staring at the words. Knowing that she had helped found SHIELD was half the reason he stayed. It’s a good thing he did, otherwise he never would’ve met Natasha and they never would’ve gotten married.

He eventually stood up and pulled a piece of folded paper from his coat pocket. It was a letter that he wrote to her when he found out she had died. Fighting back tears, he began to read.

“Peggy, I wish we could’ve had more time together. I wish we could’ve hat that dance that we never got to have. I wish you were still here, but I know that a part of you is inside of me. That’s a debt I’ll never be able to repay. Thank you for saving my life. I would’ve done this sooner, but Natasha needed me. She was severely injured and had been traumatized by all of it. Oh, if only you could’ve gotten to know her more. She is such a wonderful person, well despite all of the red in her ledger. But since joining SHIELD, she’s a different person. She and I are even married now. I gave her a surprise wedding when she and I returned to SHIELD after a month or so of medical leave. She needed to recover. She needed to heal.”

Tears started to stream down his cheeks, but he still managed the read the last sentence that he had written. “While I love Natasha with all my heart, you will always be my best girl. You’ll always have a special place in my heart.”

He folded up the paper and stuck it inside the flower. He then stayed a few more minutes as the snow began to fall. By the time he left, a light coat of snow covered his head and his jacket.

He boarded a commercial flight headed for New York. Natasha would meet him and drive him back to base.

* * *

 

Natasha greeted him with open arms when he came into the airport. He didn’t have any bags to pick up, so they left the airport and began the four-hour drive back to base. Steve drove because the weather was starting to get worse. He was surprised that Natasha had made it without running into any traffic issues or gotten into an accident herself. He would never be able to live with himself if she did.

Neither of them spoke the whole ride home. He was too focused on the road and she had fallen asleep.       When they finally did make it home, everyone was already asleep, so they quietly snuck and retreated to their bedroom.

“You OK?” she asked him as he took off his coat. Steve shook his head. He wasn’t OK. He was sad that he couldn’t see Peggy alive one more time. Even more, he wanted to share that dance with her.

“Did you not get to the gravesite before the weather?” she asked.

“No, I made it. It’s just, there was, um. I just keep thinking about something her and I were supposed to do,” he responded as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“What was that?” she asked as she sat down next to him. Her shoulder touched his.

“Before I went under, we were setting up a date. We wanted to dance. She wanted me to be at the Stork Club at 8:00, and I couldn’t be late.”

A few tears started to form in Natasha’s eyes. Steve had never told her that before. That’s why he missed Peggy so much. He never got to have that dance that she wanted. Not saying a word, she placed an arm around his shoulder and he put his head down.

“Steve, it’s OK,” she whispered.

“She was going to teach me how to dance.”

For the next few minutes, neither of them moved. Steve continued to sob. Natasha, just like he did for her when she was upset, began to gently rub her hand up and down his back. This was definitely something that was bothering him.

He still sobbed as she stood up and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. A few taps on her screen later, Steve could hear slow music, music that was meant for dancing. With the phone still in her hand, she walked over to where he was still sitting and held out her hand.

“Captain Rogers, would you like to dance?” she asked, trying to imitate Peggy’s British accent. Steve smiled at her attempt and took her hand. She pulled him to his feet and they began to dance, holding the phone by her ear so they could both hear the music. It was a slow tune from the 1940s that she had learned to like, courtesy of him.

The song ended and the two of them just stood there, looking into each other’s eyes and shedding a few tears. Natasha was a beautiful dancer and Steve had improved since their wedding. It was wonderful. Because of the music that she had chosen, he almost felt like he was at the Stork Club and dancing with Peggy.

“I know I’m not Peggy,” she said breaking the silence, “but I’ll always dance with you.”

“I love you too, Nat. And thank you. I needed that tonight.”

Natasha nodded as she leaned in to kiss him. In return, he closed the space between them and held her close.

They eventually decided to go to bed at midnight. They knew that they would be tired the following day, but neither cared. Besides, tomorrow was Saturday, and that meant no training for either of them.


	4. Birthday Party Disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since today (8/10) is my birthday, I decided to write something where the Avengers celebrate it. Please note, there is alcohol involved, but not in a bad way. Also, the “Generous Miss Lovewell” thing, well, that might take a while to explain. Anyway, enjoy. Oh, and this takes place between “S.A.F.E.” and “Renewal”.

“You’ve got to be joking,” Anna said as she stood in Coulson’s office. She was not too happy that Tony Stark, of all people, had hacked into SHIELD’s files to find out when her birthday was. To make things worse, because he knew when her birthday was, he invited everyone to the Tower for a party. Seriously? This was not how she wanted to spend her first birthday as an agent of SHIELD. She actually wanted to take the day off and do something with Natasha.

“I’m not, Agent Flannigan. You know Stark. He loves to party,” Coulson answered.

“If he makes me one alcoholic drink, I’m swear I’ll have his head.”

“Good luck with that. He’s hard to hit, especially if he’s inside his Iron Man suit.” Coulson responded.

“I’ll find a way,” she answered. She then stormed out of his office.

Two hours later, everyone was at the Tower and mingling around. Much to Anna’s surprise, everything was going well and the party was actually enjoyable. All the avengers, including Bruce and Thor, were there. This was her first time meeting the doctor and the demigod. She actually felt tiny standing next to Thor.

“What an honor to meet you Anna, especially on the day we celebrate your birth,” Thor said shaking her hand.

“Nice to meet you too,” Anna responded as she got a drink. Pepper was posing as bartender, so she didn’t have to worry about drinking anything alcoholic. Even though she was legally allowed to, SHE wanted nothing to do with alcohol, unless she was with her family.

“Here you are, my dear,” Pepper said as she handed her a virgin Margarita. Besides daiquiris and pina coladas, this was one of her favorite nonalcoholic drinks. She would always relax with one of these three when she was on vacation.

After dinner and cake made by Clint, Pepper, and Coulson, everyone gathered in the main sitting room to watch Anna open her gifts. Since Thor, Bruce, or Tony didn’t know her that well, they just gave her a card, however Bruce included some cash so she could get whatever she wanted. Tony also gave her money, and a large amount of it. Clint gave her an arrow necklace that was similar to Natasha’s, Steve gave her two framed sketch drawings. One was a cross and the other was of her. Coulson gave her a few SHIELD-issued clothing items and her ID with the badge.

“I would’ve given it to you earlier this year, but the company I used shut down after HYDRA took over so I had to find someone new,” Coulson explained.

“That’s OK, Sir,” she answered.

“Red, didn’t you get her anything?” Tony asked looking at Natasha. Natasha just smiled. She did get her something, but she was going to wait until later. She wanted to do it in private. Steve, Clint, and Coulson already knew about it.

It was while Anna was organizing her gifts in a bag to take back to DC when Tony decided to sneak some alcohol in her drink. Not realizing he did it though, she just took a drink. The next thing she knew, she was running to the bathroom. While everyone was giving each other confusing looks, Tony just smiled.

“Stark, what did you do?” Steve asked.

“What makes you think I did it, Spangles?” Tony responded.

“Oh come on, you’re the only one who drinks around here.”

“That’s not true. Legolas had a few tonight,”

“Not enough to make me sick though,” Clint answered. Just then, Anna came back, and her face was bright red. Tony immediately panicked and ran.

“I should’ve known it was him,” she said as she laid down on the couch. Steve came over and handed her a bottle of water.

“Sorry, Anna.” Bruce said.

“What did he put in there?”

“It smells like Rum,” Clint answered. Anna groaned. Tony had spiked her drink, thus making her sick. Fortunately the water was helping.

“Clint, did you bring your bow?” she asked once she finished.

“Uh no. Why?” Clint asked confusingly.

“It’s time for Stark to pay for this,” she answered sitting up. The room was spinning, but not like earlier when she got sick. “JARVIS, can you tell me where I might find Tony right now?”

“Mr. Stark has barricaded himself in his workshop Ms. Flannigan.”

“Thank you,” she answered. Grabbing the nearest weapon she could find, which ended up being Natasha’s gun that she always carried with her, she went in search of Tony Stark.

“Should we wait to until we hear him scream before we interfere?” Coulson asked. Everyone just smiled and waited for Anna to return.

* * *

 

Thanks to Clint teaching her how do this, Anna was able to locate the nearest vent that lead to Tony’s workshop and crawl through it without getting caught. When she was directly above him, she stuck the barrel of the weapon into the one of slits and fired.

“Ahhhhhhhhh!” Stark yelled as the bullet hit his shoulder. Anna immediately scrambled out of the vent and back to the main room.

“Did you get him?” Natasha asked.

“Heck yeah I did,” Anna answered as she handed Natasha her gun back. Just then, Tony came back into the room holding a towel to his bleeding shoulder.

“Seriously, Red?” he asked. Natasha shook her head.

“Oh come on, I know it was you. Flann here doesn’t even know how to shoot a gun.”

“Oh yes I do, Mr. Stark.” Anna answered. Tony’s mouth dropped open.

“How long have you been at SHIELD?” he asked.

“7 months. But I knew how to shoot a gun before that,” Anna answered.

“And that’s not all she can do,” Steve chimed in. Tony froze. What else could this new SHIELD agent do to him?

Realizing what Steve meant, Anna came forward and kicked Tony in the knee, causing him to fall to the ground, and he landed right on his injured shoulder.

“What was that for, Flann?” he asked groaning in pain.

“That was for throwing me a party in the first place. The shot for was for spiking my drink with Rum. And don’t call me Flann,” she answered.

After Tony was patched up and literally forced by everyone to apologize to Anna, Coulson and his team left the Tower.

* * *

 

Four hours later, they were back. Just about everyone was in bed or getting ready for bed except for Anna and Natasha. Both of them were in the kitchen. Anna was drinking a soda to settle her stomach.

“Sorry about what happened today,” Natasha said as she got a bottle of water.

“It’s OK. I just know not to go to a party hosted by Tony Stark.”

“You should’ve seen what he did five years ago at his own party, he literally blew up a watermelon,” Natasha said smiling. Anna laughed too.

“So, what’s this special gift you have for me?” she asked. Natasha smiled as she lifted up a small bag that she was hiding under the table by her feet.

“I had to enlist a little help from Leia, but I think you’ll like this,” Natasha said. Anna reached in and pulled out an envelope. Inside was a written letter saying how much she appreciated Anna helping her come to know Christ and being another female figure in her life.

Putting the letter back in the envelope, she reached into the bag and pulled out a small box. Inside was a silver necklace.

“Hold it up to the light,” Natasha said. Anna took the necklace out of the box and held it up. Inside was the initials, AFGML.

“What does that stand for?” Anna asked.

“Anna Flannigan, Generous Miss Lovewell,” Natasha answered. A few tears were forming in Anna’s eyes. Natasha had named Anna her “Generous Miss Lovewell.”

“How did you know about those?” she asked.

“You told me about them a couple months ago. I thought it was a thoughtful idea so I decided to name you my lovewell. You have shown me kindness when I needed it most.”

Anna stood up and walked to the other side of the table where Natasha was sitting. She then leaned over and gave Natasha a hog. “Thank you. I’m glad I could be your lovewell.”

“You’re welcome. You deserve it.”

After finishing their drinks, the two of them went to bed. Tomorrow was another day of training. Anna was going to challenge Natasha in the ring.


	5. Never Have I Ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone ever heard of “Guys’ night out”? Well, here you go. This story lands a week after “Simple, But Beautiful”. Enjoy.

“Come on, Spangles. It’ll be fun,” Tony pleaded.

It had only been 24 hours since Steve and Natasha returned from their “honeymoon” and now Tony was inviting him to the Tower for a bachelor party.

“Stark, my wedding was like last week,” Steve answered.

“Doesn’t matter. You still deserve a party, and besides, you owe me for helping you set up your honeymoon in the fist place.”

Steve didn’t know how to answer him. He didn’t even know what a bachelor party was. Eventually, after a few more minutes of Tony nagging him, Steve agreed and within the hour, he along with Clint and Coulson were on a private jet heading to Stark Tower.

Apparently Tony had this party idea planned for a while because Bruce, Thor, Sam, and Rhodey were all there. Everyone was mingling around, however Tony was nowhere to be found. Clint had told Steve about what sometimes happens at these kinds of parties, so he was praying that what Clint had said didn’t happen. If it did, he would make sure that Tony would pay for it, and by paying, he meant facing Natasha’s wrath.

The food was served, including salad, steak, potatoes, green beans, and pasta. Tony was still nowhere to be seen. Did he decide to bail out at the last minute and have Rhodey do everything? Steve was somewhat frustrated. Tony had practically begged him to come out here and now he wasn’t even here. He hoped Natasha was doing something nice or just relaxing back at his apartment or at the base.

Just when Steve was secretly planning to sneak out and go home, Tony appeared, and he had two six-packs of beer.

“Everyone, grab a beer. It’s time for a little game of ‘never have I ever,’”

Steve groaned. He had never even heard of this game before. Plus everyone else was already starting to feel tipsy from too much alcohol. Oh well, at least it wasn’t what Clint had told him about earlier. Coulson decided not to play. He just wanted to watch everyone get crazy.

“This could be fun,” he thought to himself as he grabbed two beers from the cases. He then sat back down on the couch next to Clint as Tony explained the game.

“If you have done the thing that the person has said that they haven’t done, then you have to take a drink. Whoever finishes both of their drinks first is the winner. I’ll go first. Never have I ever been married.”

Steve took a drink from the first bottle. On his left, Clint also took a drink.

“Barton, you’re married? Since when?” Tony asked in surprise. Clint didn’t answer. He just smiled. There were only two people who knew that he was married to Laura. He regretted taking a drink.

“Cap, you’re next,” Tony said. Steve thought for a few minutes. He then thought of something.

“Never have I ever made love to a girl.” Everyone drank to that.

“You’ve been married for a week and you haven’t made love yet?”

“Stark!” Clint glared at him. Tony put his hands up.

“Easy, Legolas, and it’s your turn by the way.”

“Never have I ever broke a punching bag,” Clint said. Steve was the only one that took a drink, and he took two sips. He had probably broken at least five bags in the last three years. Tony smiled and nodded to Bruce that it was his turn.

“Never have I ever had to train for anything.” Everyone but Thor drank to that. They all had to do some kind of training for a mission. Bruce then nodded to Thor that he was next.

“Never have I ever even played this game before.” Tony was the only one that drank to that. Apparently this game was new to everyone.

It was now Rhodey’s turn. “Never have I ever been an Avenger.” Everyone except Sam drank to that. They were all Avengers. Sam and Rhodey hadn’t joined yet.

Sam was the last person to go. “Never have I ever been pinned down by Natasha.” Steve and Clint both laughed as they took a drink. Natasha had pinned both of them down numerous times. She probably has pinned Clint down more times than him.

They all went around a second time. Steve ended up winning the game. Everything that everyone had said was stuff that he had never done because of being under the ice.

“Way to go, Cap,” Tony said. His words were slurring from too much alcohol. Thor and Bruce left shortly after everyone was laying down on the couches.

“Congratulations my friend,” Thor said shaking Steve’s hand.

“Thank you.”

Bruce shook his hand next and handed him an envelope saying it was his wedding gift. Steve folded it and put it in his back pocket. He would open it later. Right now, he had to figure out what to do with Rhodey, Clint, and Sam, who were all drunk. Tony lived at the Tower so he didn’t have to worry about him. In fact, Tony was already in the bathroom puking. He must’ve had a few drinks before the party even started.

Rhodey ended up spending the night at the Tower. Sam and Clint were coming home with him.

By the time they made it home, Clint was passed out. It took both him and Natasha to get his heavy form inside and into a room. Coulson escorted Sam inside and to the other guest bedroom.

“Stark?” Natasha asked. Steve nodded.

There was no point in making sure either of them were comfortable. So they just slept on top of the covers. Tomorrow Sam would go back to his apartment and Clint and Steve would explain to Natasha what happened.

“That won’t be necessary,” she responded. She didn’t want to know. She had never seen Clint like this before. He never ever got drunk since joining SHIELD. He gave that up when she was recruited.

“Fair enough. However I do want to do something tonight, that is if you’re ready for it,” he answered. Natasha tensed up as he planted a kiss on her lips. She knew what he wanted, but she still wasn’t ready for it. There were still one too many memories of what Ivan had done to her back in October as well as what was done to her in the Red Room.

“Nat, did you hear me?” he asked. Natasha nodded hesitantly as a nightmare started to form in her mind. Realizing what was happening, Steve wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She eventually relaxed in his arms.

“Sorry,” she said.

“It’s OK. Whenever you’re ready, we’ll do it.”

Natasha nodded against his chest and left his embrace. Steve grabbed her hand before she could walk away.

“Hey, I still love you. I’ll always love you.”

“I love you too,” she responded looking into his eyes. Planting another kiss on her lips, the two of them walked to their bedroom and got ready to sleep. Tomorrow Natasha was going to “punish” Clint for getting drunk by fighting him in the ring.

 


	6. High Class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession, I am never doing a party scene again. They are not easy to do. Believe it or not though, this actually turned out alright. Hope you all enjoy it. Up next, Natasha dances.

“What do you mean I’m not invited?” Tony asked.

“Really, do you not know anything about these kinds of parties?” Pepper asked him.

“Sorry, but my brain only hears the ‘party’ part,” he answered.

“Tony, it’s actually called a bridal shower. Girls only.”

“Wait, Capsicle won’t be there either?”

“Maria said that it was just the ladies,” Pepper answered. Technically, Steve was supposed to be there since he was the husband, but Maria had insisted that this be just a girls’ night out.

“So bird brain won’t be there either?”

“Did you not hear what just said?”

“Yeah, yeah I heard you. I guess Red doesn’t like me then,” he answered.

“Tony!”

Tony then left the room where Pepper was getting ready and locked himself in his workshop.

He was mad.

* * *

 Natasha was nervous.

No nervous didn’t even begin to describe how she was feeling. She was scared. She was scared to be out in public. Thanks to Tony, word got around that she and Steve were married and now everyone in DC wanted to see Captain America and the infamous Black Widow together as husband and wife. Newspapers had called wanted to know the details. Steve answered politely and honestly, saying that it was just a simple, but beautiful ceremony. Natasha hardly spoke to them.

She didn’t want them to see her.

It wasn’t the fact that Natasha and Steve had a problem with the media, OK, it was a problem, especially with what happened before their wedding. Natasha had spent an entire month as a hostage in Russia by Ivan Petrovich and then another month in a hospital recovering from the wounds that he had inflicted on her. The media would have a “field day” if they found out or saw the few injuries that she was still carrying,

She sat in the back of Maria’s car with Steve. She was thankful she didn’t have to drive. Ever since Russia, she found herself unable to drive if she wasn’t focused or if she was nervous about where she was going. Steve, however was quite relaxed, but he remained silent. The only reason he was here was to make sure Natasha was OK before leaving. He would then take the car and do whatever he wanted to do until they were done.

When it came time to get out, Natasha made sure that her coat was zipped up to her chin. It wasn’t terribly cold today, but she didn’t want any of her injuries to show. It was bad enough that Pepper would be seeing them. She hoped that she wouldn’t ask any questions about them.

Steve helped her out of the car and escorted her inside the restaurant. The second she was inside, she tensed up. There wasn’t anyone from the media, but something wasn’t right.

“Hey, you OK?” he asked. She shook her head. She wasn’t alright. She didn’t want to be here. She didn’t even want a “bridal party” as Maria had called it. The Red Room had taught her that the only things worth celebrating were successful missions and graduation. No birthdays, no weddings, and certainly not this.

With Maria still busy getting a table, Steve quietly escorted Natasha out of the restaurant where she could catch her breath.

“I can’t do this,” she said once she took a couple of deep breaths. Steve didn’t care if anyone was looking. With gentle hands, he drew her close and held her.

“It’ll be OK,” he soothed. “I won’t be too far away. Just call me if you need to leave.”

Just then, Pepper pulled up and began walking toward them. She had a box that was wrapped in white paper with a silver bow.

“Captain,” she said quietly.

“Hi, Pepper,” he responded. Since Pepper could tell that she had interrupted something, she nodded “hi” to Natasha and went inside.

“You ready?” he asked. Natasha looked up at him. A few tears were falling from her eyes. She hesitantly nodded “yes” and the two of them went inside.

“Our table’s over here,” Maria said quietly as she led the way to the back of the restaurant and through a door. She then closed it.

“I was able to reserve this room for us so that we could have some privacy,” she explained.

“Thank you,” Natasha answered. She then took a breath and unzipped her coat. Fortunately for her, Pepper was already sitting down and reading the menu.

Once Steve made sure she was OK and was sitting down, he quietly left.

* * *

 

The dinner was absolutely amazing. Natasha had never eaten at a high-class restaurant before. All Maria told them was to look nice, so she wore a black long-sleeved sweater and black dress pants. She wanted to wear a scarf, but it didn’t cross her mind until after they were gone.

She only drank one glass of wine, as did everyone else. They all agreed on that. Natasha hardly ever drank wine. She would maybe have a beer with Clint or Steve after a mission. Vodka was a different story that only they knew about. No one else did.

Pepper’s gift was very thoughtful. It was new coffee maker, and not one of those ones that required filters. It was one of those one-cup makers. Maria must’ve mentioned something about the coffee maker back on base that wasn’t working properly. This one would definitely be taking its place. In addition to the gift, she had also picked out a nice card and had signed it. Natasha couldn’t help but laugh when she saw that Tony had signed his own name next to Pepper’s.

When the party was over, Pepper left and went back to New York. It’s a good thing there wasn’t any snow in the forecast tonight, or Steve would be insisting she stay with them for the night.

“Congratulations,” she said as she gave Natasha a hug. Natasha flinched. Pepper’s hug was a little tight, but she was able to hide the pain.

“Thank you.”

Steve came by and got out so Maria could drive. He then helped Natasha into the back and they drove home.

“How was it?” he asked. Natasha didn’t answer him.

“Nat?” he asked worriedly. He then looked down and realized why she didn’t answer him. She had fallen asleep. Smiling, he kissed her head and put his arm around her, knowing that whenever he held her, he knew she wouldn’t have a nightmare.

 


	7. I Hope You Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this “Simple Moment” is a sequel to “Hidden Talent” and because of where this ends, looks likes this little arc will be a three-parter. I’ll do another one or two before the third part. The title is actually a song by Lee Ann Womack and the italics are a flashback.

It had been about a couple weeks since Anna had resumed dancing. Her ankle was still sore, so she didn’t do a lot of it. Occasionally, Natasha would watch her and give her tips on how to improve.

“When was the last time you danced?” Anna asked as she took a drink from her water bottle. Natasha thought for a few minutes. It had been a long time since she danced by herself, more specifically danced ballet. It always drudged up one too many memories of her being in the Red Room.

“I’m not sure,” she finally answered. Just then, Steve came in the room, asking to speak with Anna.

“I’ll be right back,” she said to Natasha.

For the next few minutes, Natasha sat on the bench and looked blankly at the open floor. Ever since Anna had started dancing, it made her want to dance. However given her history and her physical condition, she wasn’t sure if she could do it again.

“Just try it,” she thought to herself. Glancing out the door to make sure no one was watching, she found a song on Anna’s ipad and pressed play. She then made her way to the middle of the room.

The song that she chose was a song called “Waiting on the Night to Fall” by Casting Crowns. Anna had told her that it was a dance she wanted to do with a partner.However she was still looking for one. Clint volunteered as well as Steve. It was just a matter of who she would choose and whey they would actually do it.

Despite not having danced like this in a long time, the elements came naturally to her and she moved slowly and gracefully across the floor. Even her jumps were amazing despite her physical condition. She did her best to mimic what she had seen Anna do two weeks ago, but in her mind, it wasn’t similar at all. She always thought that Anna did this element more gracefully.

The song was coming to end when she realized she was being watched, and that’s when she stumbled and fell to her knees. She didn’t twist her ankle, she just lost her balance.

“Nat, you OK?” a voice asked. It was Steve. The song ended, but Natasha didn’t move. Steve almost thought he heard her crying, but it was hard to tell because of the oscillating fan that Anna had turned on.

“Nat?” he said a little louder. Still nothing, not even a flinch.

“Oh no,” he thought to himself as he rushed toward her. She was having a panic attack.

Not caring that she could flip him over, he quickly dropped to his knees and reached for her hand. That’s when she looked up, but her expression wasn’t’ relaxed, it was filled with fear.

“Nat, what happened?” he asked softly. Anna decided to stay back by the bench to allow Steve some privacy. More people around Natasha would make her even more panicked.

Natasha took a deep breath, but it did nothing to stop the fear that was building up inside of her. She was lost in a nightmare. She was imagining that she was dancing and that her instructor had rebuked her for losing her balance three times in a row.

 _“Ballerinas do not lose their balance,” the instructor yelled at her._ _“Now get up and try it again.”_

_Natalia stood up again and began to dance. The jump once again was perfect, but she again tripped while going into the next element._

_“Sloppy,” the instructor said harshly. “Again,”_

_For the third time Natalia tried again, and once again tripped. This element was a difficult thing for someone her age to do. Apparently the instructors didn’t think so. They thought everyone could do everything._

_“You’ll never be a prima ballerina,” she said as she kicked Natalia in the stomach. Natalia did her best to hold back a cry as the instructor’s shoe struck her, but it was no use._

_“Ballerinas do not cry!” she shouted as she kicked her again. “Now get up and do it again.”_

Natasha eventually snapped out of it, but she could still hear the instructor yelling at her.

“Steve,” she whispered.

“You OK?” he asked again. Natasha shook her head. She was not OK. She had tried to dance again and had failed. Steve gently wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She was shaking.

“I never could get that element right,” she sobbed. “None of the girls could. Not even the more experienced dancers could.”

Steve slowly began to rub his hand up and down her back to try and soothe her. “Nat, you’re not there anymore.”

Natasha continued to shake in his arms. Steve eventually felt his shirt getting wet from a few tears that she was shedding.

“Steve, get me out of here. Please,” she sobbed into her chest.

With as little movement as possible, Steve picked Natasha up in his arms and carried her out the room. Her head was resting on his shoulder. Anna quickly grabbed her ipad and followed them.

* * *

 

“What happened?” Clint asked when he noticed Anna’s sad look.

“I’m not sure. Steve just found her on her knees.” Anna answered. Clint immediately realized that Natasha had had a panic attack. There were a few times that he found her on her knees trying to take a breath but unable to because of being trapped in a nightmare.

“What was she doing in the training room?”

“She and I were dancing. Steve then came in and asked to talk to me about something. Natasha must’ve tried to dance while I was gone,” Anna answered. Clint then put two and two together. Natasha had told him that whenever she danced in the Red Room, someone was always watching her. It was probably when she noticed Steve and Anna watching her that an attack started to take her.

“Will she be OK?” Anna asked snapping him out of his thoughts.

“She will be. It’ll just take time.”

“I hope she’ll dance one day,” Anna said as she grabbed a snack.

“It would definitely be a wonderful thing to see.” 

* * *

 

It took a few minutes, but Steve managed to help Natasha settle down enough to fall asleep. To make sure that she didn’t wake up, he decided to stay with her and hold her close.

“Thank you,” she whispered before closing her eyes.

“You’ll be OK, Nat. And don’t worry about dancing. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” Steve said. She didn’t hear him though. Sleep claimed her the second she closed her eyes, and that’s mainly because she didn’t get a lot of sleep the night before. Also, whenever Steve held her, she would instantly fall asleep because she knew he was close.


	8. Auntie Anna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I think its about time for Anna to finally meet the Barton family. What do you think? Well, here you go. And in real life, meeting someone new when your sick is not a good idea. Lastly, this lands between “SAFE” and “Renewal”.

Anna was excited to finally be meeting Clint's family. However she was also a little nervous. It was just her and Clint that were going. Steve and Natasha were on a weekend getaway for their anniversary and Coulson was held up with something to which he commented "was classified information." No one dared to ask what was going on. All they knew is that Coulson was meeting with someone who was probably a SHIELD agent or used to be a SHIELD agent. Regardless, the base would be quite for a few days with everyone gone.

"Are you sure about this Clint?" Anna asked as they took off.

"Sure I'm sure. Besides, I think it's time you meet them after hearing so many stories from me," Clint responded.

"I know it's just that they know Natasha better. They might not like me."

"They'll like you. They already like the rest of the team.

Anna sighed and leaned back to relax. They were still a few hours from the farm. The plan was for her and Clint to spend the weekend there. He was going to fix up a few things around the house and Anna would get to know Laura and the kids as well as help in any way that she could.

* * *

 

It was about 3:00 in the afternoon when they landed. As usual, Clint parked the jet behind some trees and the two of them walked to the house.

"Honey, I'm home," Clint called. There was no answer. "Laura?" he called again.

"Upstairs, Daddy!" a little girl shouted. Clint nodded to Anna to follow him and they went upstairs.

"Daddy!" the little girl squealed as Clint picked her up.

"Hi, Sweetie,' he said as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Where's Mommy?"

"In here,' a voice answered. It sounded raspy. Clint set the little girl down and went into the room where his wife was.

"Honey?" he asked. She was wearing an old t-shirt and was sitting up in bed. A box of tissues was next to her and a cup of tea was sitting on the nightstand.

"It's just the common cold. I'll be fine in a couple of days," she said.

"When did you get sick? Why didn't you call me?" Clint asked worriedly as he sat down on the bed.

"I swear I'b fine. Just the common cold," she sniffed. Clint placed a hand on her forehead.

"Honey, you have a fever,"

"Clint, I'b fine," she said again before looking in Anna's direction. "Who's this?"

Clint looked over his shoulder to see Anna watching them. Now he felt bad about bringing her because his wife was sick. If he had known this, he would've came alone. Oh well, too late now. "This is Anna Flannigan. She's new to SHIELD."

"Come on in, my dear. Nice to meet you," Laura said.

"Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Barton. I'm sorry that you're sick," Anna answered as she came in the room.

"Please call me Laura. And it's OK. I'll be better in a couple of days."

Anna nodded, but she too was feeling guilty about being here. The last thing she needed was to be getting sick, because if she got sick, she was sick for three weeks, and that would mean no singing or no playing flute.

"Daddy, where's Auntie Nat and Uncle Steve?" the little girl asked.

"Lila, did we forget our manners. Say 'hello' to our guest." Clint reminded her as he directed her gaze to Anna.

"Hi, I'm Lila. Nice to meet you," Lila said as politely as she could.

"Hi, Lila. I'm Anna. I'm a friend of Auntie Nat."

"Where is she? And where is Uncle Steve?"

"Auntie Nat and Uncle Steve are spending some time together. They've been very busy so they are taking a well-deserved break," Anna responded. Lila nodded, but Anna could see the disappointment in her eyes. She wanted to see Auntie Nat, not some new person who didn't even look old enough to be her mother.

Seconds later, an older boy came into the room with a bowl of soup.

"Here you go, Mom. Hey, Dad," he said as he handed the bowl to his mom and looked at his dad.

"Hey, buddy. How long has Mom been sick?" Clint asked,

"She woke up early this morning not feeling well. I called the doctor. He prescribed an antibiotic for her. She was going to go pick it up as soon as she felt strong enough to drive," the boy answered.

"I can go get it," Anna offered.

"No, that's OK. Besides, they might not allow you to pick it up since you're not family," Clint answered.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Want me to go with you?"

"No, I need someone to stay here with the kids."

Anna nodded and Clint left the room to head to the drug store.

"How do you know Auntie Nat?" the boy asked. "I'm Cooper by the way," the boy said sticking out his hand.

"A friend of mine called me to come help her with some personal issues. And nice to meet you, Cooper. I'm Anna," Anna answered. "Laura, is there anything I can get for you?"

"No, just want to sleep," she responded.

"OK, I'll take the kids downstairs and get to know them better."

"Thank you," she said as she handed the bowl back to Cooper. She then laid back down and fell asleep instantly. Cooper took the lead, heading down the stairs and into the kitchen to wash the bowl.

"Wan some soup, Miss Anna?" he asked.

"Sure, and you can call me Auntie Anna if you want," Anna answered as she sat down at the table.

"Are you sure? I mean, we just met today," Cooper asked as he set a bowl down in front of her.

"Of course. I practically live at SHIELD now."

"Are you an agent too?" he asked.

"Yep. Level 7."

"Wow, maybe when I grow up I can be an agent too. I already know how to shoot a gun. Still waiting to learn how to shoot a bow and arrow like Dad does," Cooper said.

"Your dad is pretty good. I have never seen him miss a shot yet."

"Do you know how to shoot like he does?"

"Not yet. That's next on my training though," Anna answered is she took a spoonful of soup. It tasted really good.

"Did you make this by yourself?"

"Yep, been cooking since I could walk," Cooper answered. Anna nodded and continued eating. After she was done, she helped Cooper clean up the kitchen and put the leftover soup in a container. Meanwhile, Lila, who had been playing quietly in the living room, came into the kitchen. "Wanna read me a story? Mommy usually reads with me around this time," she asked.

"Sure, sweetie," Anna answered getting up from the table. Lila took her hand and led her to where a few of her books were.

"Mommy was helping me with this one," she said as she pulled a book off the shelf. Anna smiled when she saw the cover. It was one of her favorite books to read as child, Curious George Gets a Medal.

"I used to love that book when I was your age," Anna said. "I even owned my own copy too."

"Daddy gave to this me as for Christmas," she said as she got up on the couch. Anna sat next to her and began reading.

Halfway through the book, Anna stopped and let Lila try a few pages on her own. “It’s OK. I’ll help you if you get stuck on a word,” she said to her.

Lila took the book in her lap and slowly began reading. She made it through the first couple of pages without a problem.

“Good job, honey. Does Mommy read to you every day?”

“Yep. Even Cooper reads with me too, but I like it when Mommy does it,” Lila answered. Just then, the door opened and Clint came back in with a couple of grocery bags.

“I’m back,” he said.

“Quiet, Daddy, Mommy’s sleeping,” Lila said as he came into the living room.

“Oh, right, sorry,” he said. “What are you guys doing?

“Auntie Anna’s helping me read,” she answered. Clint smiled when she said “Auntie Anna,”

            “Oh, so I guess Anna is ‘Auntie Anna’ now, huh?” he asked as he sat down next to them.

“Yep, she said we could call her Auntie Anna and that she was going to train Cooper to be an agent,”

Clint shot Anna a look as if to say, “are you serious?” Anna smiled and told him that it wasn’t true.

“Phew, not sure I want to see him with my bow and arrow yet,”

“Hey, you’re the one who showed me how to shoot a gun last summer.” Cooper said coming into the room.

“Yeah, probably should’ve waited till you were older.”

“Guys, Mommy’s sleeping!” Lila cried.

“No, I’m not, a voice said. Everyone turned their heads to see Laura in a white bath robe and hair tied back in a ponytail.

“Feeling better?” Clint asked as he got up.

“A little,” she answered. Clint smiled as he kissed her.

“You’re gonna get sick,” she teased.

“Nah, I never get sick.” he laughed.

 

Sure enough, the next day, Clint was the one in bed sick and Laura and Anna were “nursing” him.

“So Anna, glad you came out here?” he asked after coughing into his elbow.

“Well, seeing as how I had to take care of both of you, I guess so,” she answered.

“Perhaps next time all of us can get together. You, Steve, Nat, and maybe Coulson.”

“Yeah, maybe so. Now get some sleep. I am not riding home in a quinjet with a sick pilot.

“Yes, Agent. You’re the boss,” Clint answered. He then laid down and slept. Meanwhile, Anna took Lila back down to finish reading where they left off yesterday in _Curious George_ while Laura straightened up the house. She was still coughing and congested, but already the antibiotic was kicking in.

The following day, Clint and Anna left the Barton farm, promising to return again in the spring.

Tell Auntie Nat I said ‘hi’” Lila said as she hugged Anna good-bye.

“I will, Sweetie. You keep on reading with your mommy. You’re doing a great job.”

“Thanks, Auntie Anna.”

Anna gave Lila one more hug before walking with Clint to the quinjet.

“Great kids,” she said as Clint took off.

“Thanks. See. I knew they would like you.”

“Now, let’s just pray I don’t get sick after being around you two,” she teased.

Clint laughed as he piloted the jet back to DC. Anna once again fell asleep. There was no point in praying that she wouldn’t get sick. She was already starting to sniffle as of yesterday.

“Thanks, Clint,” she thought to herself.

“What was that?” he asked. Apparently she didn’t whisper as quietly as she thought she did.

“I said ‘thanks, Clint,” she answered.

“For what, taking you to the farm?”

“No, for getting me sick.”


	9. Run, Anna. Run!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in celebration of running my first ever half-marathon,, I decided to write something that highlighted my race day. Just about everything is similar to how things went during the actual race. No copyright infringement intended on the songs. This lands after “Forever Changed” since that story took place in 2015. 
> 
> Up next will be something a little sweeter

_“And let us run with perseverance, the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1_

“Pace yourself,” Anna said to herself as she rounded the first turn of the half-marathon. She wasn’t’ even ten minutes in and her legs were hurting. More specifically her right calf muscle.

‘My legs don’t want to move,” she said into the comms.

“Just take it slow, Flann,” Tony answered.

“Don’t call me Flann,” she snapped.

"Little Red?" 

“Stark!”

The first two miles of the half were an experience Anna would never forget. In between the songs on her ipod, she could hear everyone’s shoes hitting the pavement. She wanted to try and catch it on film, but her focus was on getting to three mile mark so she could walk for a few seconds.

Tony and Bruce met her at the three-mile mark. They were holding a sign that said “Run, Little Red. Run!”

“You’re doing great Anna. Thor’s at the six waiting for you,”

“Got it, Bruce. Thanks,” Anna said as she tossed a water cup onto the ground. By now, her right calf was starting to let up and she was able to pick up the pace a little bit. The song that was playing on her ipod was “Kick the Dust” up by Luke Bryan.

This was Anna’s first half-marathon.

She had spent the past eighteen weeks training by either running on the treadmill in the workout room, or running with Steve on his early morning runs. On Saturdays, she would meet up with her team back home and run with them.

As planned before everyone left the Tower that morning, each of the Avengers were placed every three miles to cheer her on. She had already passed Tony and Bruce and within another half hour, she saw Thor standing tall. He didn’t have a sign with him.

“Keep on going Miss Flannigan,” he said as she gave him a high-five.

“Is Barton at the nine like he’s supposed to be?” Anna asked.

“Yes, as well as Son of Coul. Both are waiting for you,” Thor answered.

“Thanks, and thank you for coming.”

“It’s an honor to be here, Miss Flannigan. Good luck.”

She decided to skip the upcoming water station, choosing instead to keep going since it wasn’t that hot out.

“Keep it going, Anna,” she said to herself.

Just like Thor had said, Clint and Coulson were waiting for her at the nine mile mark. Clint handed her a cup of water and she stopped to drink it.

“Looking good, agent,” Coulson said.

“Thank you, Sir,” Anna answered.

“Cap is at the twelve. I think he has a granola bar for you,” Clint said.

“Good, cause I need it.”

“Alright, better get there before he eats it,” Coulson said.

“You got it. I’ll see you back at the tent.”

“Copy that. Now run, Agent. Run!”

Anna took off running .She had only four miles to go and was on track to finish in under two and a half hours. “We are the Free” by Matt Redman was finishing up on her ipod. The next song was “We Could Change the World.”

“Hey, how much you want to bet that I’ll beat you to the line?” Anna asked one of her teammates.

“You probably will,” the teammate responded.

“Alright then, you’re on. See you at the line.” And with that, she picked up her pace again, determined to beat her teammate.

“Anna, over here!” Steve shouted when he saw her coming down the street. Just like Clint had said, he had a granola bar already opened in his hand.

“Thanks. Cap,” she said as she slowed down to take a bite.

“You’ve got a mile to go. Nat’s waiting for you at the line,” he said.

“Can’t wait to see her,” she said as she finished up a couple more bites. Ahead of her was one of the professional photographers. Quickly handing the granola bar back to Steve, she smiled for the camera and continued on her way.

At the 12.5 mark, she texted Natasha that she was almost to the line. Natasha quickly responded saying “stay to the left of the line.”

“Alright, let’s do this,” Anna said as she picked up her pace. She had no idea where her teammate was and she didn’t’ want to turn around to look. Oh well, she was probably far ahead of him anyway.

At the thirteen mile mark, she changed the song on her ipod to “Impossible” by Building429 and turned it up. This was the final stretch of race. She wanted to finish strong.

After snapping a picture of the finish line, she tucked her phone away and picked up her pace even faster. She even put both of her hands in the air.

“That there’s no such thing as impossible,” she sang to herself. This song had been her theme song throughout her training. She started every run with it.

Within seconds, she was crossing the finish line. “Impossible” was on the final chorus. All around her, people were cheering her on. Her hands will still in the air. Hopefully the photographer captured that. She turned off the GPS tracker on her phone, and was surprised at what she read. She had ran a total of 13.29 miles in 2 hours and 28 minutes.

“Anna!” Natasha called. Anna turned her head and saw her waving. She was standing behind the fence and had a sign that said “Congratulations!!!! Anna!!!!!! Very proud of you! Way to go!” There were also two balloons taped to the board that were the colors of Anna’s team.

“Congratulations, Anna,” she said as she dropped the poster to give Anna a hug.

“Thank you,” Anna said excitedly,

“I’ll meet you over in the tent,” Natasha said as she picked up the board.

Anna agreed and headed to get her medal,  and then grabbed a banana. She then made her way to the tent.

* * *

 

All of the Avengers were there and applauding for her.

“And running her first ever half-marathon, here is Anna Flannigan!” one of the other team members shouted. Everyone in the tent clapped their hands and cheered. Anna then sat down to enjoy some food and to rest her legs.

While in the quinjet back to the tower, Anna used her phone to check her actual time. According to actual half-marathon app, she finished in 2 hours, 27 minutes, and 54 seconds. She also learned that she beat the one teammate she made the bet with by 10 minutes. 

“What was your goal again?” Clint asked.

“Two and half hours, but under three,” Anna answered.

“You beat it by two minutes. Nice job,” Steve chimed in.

“Thank you.”

“And nice medal,” Steve said noticing the huge medal around Anna’s neck. It was practically the size of her head.

“Thanks. Guess this thing won’t be going in my car,” Anna responded chucking.

“Yeah, you’d probably break your rearview mirror off,” Tony joked. Everyone laughed as Coulson flew the team back to DC.


	10. Nautical Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small warning for the sexy ending. I kinda couldn’t resist. This takes place three days after “Simple. But Beautiful”.
> 
> Up next, the conclusion to little dance trilogy. “Hidden Talent” and “I Hope You Dance” were the first two.

Of all days this had to happen, it had to be today.

Today was Natasha’s annual physical and she was not too thrilled. If it was in her favor, she would’ve waited until next month. But no, Coulson always likes them done in January. Now, under normal circumstances, she would be somewhat fine with this. However this year, it was a little different. It had been almost three months since her captivity in Russia and even still, there were a few scars that were left on her body from where Ivan had beaten her the worst. Dr. Anderson said it would probably be another few weeks to a month before they faded away.

By sheer force of her own will, she made it through each part of the physical, more specifically the internal exam. Thankfully Kathleen came with Dr. Anderson to be in the room with her.

“Everything looks good, Natasha. Any questions?” Dr. Anderson said as he began to write a few things in her chart.

Natasha shook her head “no”. She just wanted to change back into her own clothes and go back to her room to lay down. She was tired not only from the stress of the exam, but also from lack of sleep the night before. Knowing that she was having her physical today had heightened her anxiety, thus not getting much sleep. She was worried that there would still be internal damage from the number of times Ivan beat her. Fortunately there wasn’t, and she was grateful.

“Alright then, I’ll leave the room so you can change and then you can leave,” he said smiling.

“Thank you,’ Natasha answered as she slid off the bed.

Once she was changed back into her own clothes, a pair of sweatpants, a loose-fitting SHIELD t-shirt, and a sweatshirt, she left the hospital gown on the bed and left.

Returning to her quarters to lay down, she noticed a suitcase on top of her bed. She was a little confused because it wasn’t there when she went to medical an hour ago. Someone must have come in here and moved it.

Groaning in frustration, she went over to the bed to move it. As she did, an envelope fell to the floor. Placing the suitcase back in her closet where it belonged, she came back by the bed and picked up the envelope. It just had her name on it.

“Rogers,” she thought to herself as she opened it. Inside was a note and two tickets that for some reason, had an old date on them.

“Took me awhile to find this. You really need to clean your closet. Anyway, pack whatever you need to last you a weekend, we leave tonight for somewhere tropical. Steve,” the note said.

Glancing at her closet, she smiled. Steve was right. It did need a good cleaning, however now was not the time. What she really wanted to do was sleep for a while and then pack for wherever Steve was taking her. Being it the middle of January and with snow in the forecast, it would be interesting if they actually did leave tonight.

Placing the note and tickets back in the envelope, she placed it on her nightstand and laid down to sleep.=

* * *

 

(2 hours later)

Steve came in the room to check on Natasha and to see if she was just about ready to leave. He was really excited about where he was taking her. Their plan was to fly to Malibu and spend a few days just being together. It had been about three days since their wedding and they haven’t been on their honeymoon yet. It was hard to say whose fault it was. Natasha wasn’t ready to be around crowds of people yet and he hadn’t really thought about this when he planned her wedding. The only thing on his mind at the time was making sure that everything was in place.

Opening the door to her room, he found her asleep on the bed. Since she was wearing a sweatshirt, she didn’t have a blanket over her. He hated to wake her, but he wanted to know if she was ready. Walking quietly to the bed, he sat down and gently shook her.

“Nat?” he asked quietly. Normally, she would flinch at his touch, but because she was so exhausted, she just opened her eyes and looked at him.

“What time is it?” she asked groggily.

“It’s about four in the evening,” Steve answered glancing at the clock. “Are you packed? I wanted to leave before it got dark outside.”

Natasha shook her head. She couldn’t believe that she had slept that long. Make matters worse, Steve was ready to go and she hadn’t even packed yet.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. Can I help you pack?” he asked teasingly.

“Haha, very funny,” she said as she sat up. The grogginess was starting to leave her voice.

“I’ll leave you to get packed. Don’t fall asleep on me again,” he said as he stood up to leave, but not before giving her a kiss on the forehead. Natasha nodded and went to retrieve her suitcase.

* * *

 

“Ticket please, Ma’am,” Steve said at the entrance of the quinjet. Natasha looked at him confusingly. The only tickets she knew about where the ones that were in the envelope, and they were back in her room.

“I left it at home,” she said playing along.

“Oh well, I guess you won’t be able to board then,” Steve answered.

“Rogers, where the heck are we going?” she asked starting to get a little angry.

“Come aboard and I will take you,” he said reaching out his hand. Natasha took it and he led her into the quinjet.

The ramp closed as she placed her bag on one of the shelves. Secretly, she hid a gun between one of her shirts. Good thing they were taking a quinjet or else she would’ve been caught at the airport with it most likely be arrested.

“SHIELD-205, are we clear for takeoff?” Steve said into the comms.

“Yes you are. Have a good trip,” Coulson answered him. Within minutes, they were pulling out of the terminal and flying in the air. Snow was not supposed to start falling for a couple more hours, so they hoped to make it to their destination before then, or else the flight would not be a smooth one.

“So, are you going to tell me where we’re going or not?” Natasha asked.

“Did anyone tell you that you’re really good at interrogating people?” Steve asked jokingly.

“Seriously, Rogers. Where are we going? Besides, the tickets that were in that envelope were outdated.

“Let’s just say I had to enlist some help with this from Stark,” he answered.

“Please tell me he won’t be there,” Natasha groaned.

“No, he won’t. He just helped me set it up.”

“He better not be,” Natasha answered.

* * *

 

Five hours later, they made it to their destination. Steve parked the quinjet at one of the SHIELD safe houses and the two of them took a taxi to the harbor.

“Rogers, what did you do?” Natasha asked.

“You’ll see in a few minutes.” he answered as they got out.

Looking ahead, Natasha saw a one of Stark's boats anchored at the dock. 

“Shall we?” Steve asked smiling. Natasha smiled and let him take her hand and lead her onto the boat.

“So we came out here just to ride one of Stark’s boats?” she asked.

“That and spend the weekend. He let me borrow it.”

“And what do you have to do for him?”

“He didn’t say. Knowing him though, it could be anything.”

Once their bags were stored away in the small bedroom, they sat together on the edge and enjoyed a glass of wine while their feet dangled in the water. There was a little breeze, but not enough to worry them. It was perfect.

“I’m guessing this is supposed to be our honeymoon?” Natasha asked.

“Yep. I wanted to do something sweet and romantic that didn’t involve being around too many people, so I thought this was the best option. Hope you brought a bikini. We’re going swimming tomorrow.” Steve said.

“Bye-bye bikinis,” Natasha joked smiling.

“Oh, right. Well, hope you brought something to swim in.”

“I did. So, what’s for dinner?” Natasha asked.

Smiling, Steve stood up and helped Natasha to her feet. He then led her to another section of the boat were a small door was.

“You’re dinner awaits you,” he said as he opened the door.

Natasha nearly stopped breathing as she took in what she was seeing. Directly in front of her was small table with two lit candles. On either side, there were two plates that were both covered with silver covers to keep the food warm. There was also a bottle of Champaign that was sitting in a silver bucket with ice. A waiter stood in the corner to give them privacy and then to clean up afterward.

“Mrs. Rogers, would you like to dine with me?” Steve asked politely.

“Yes, but no Mrs. Rogers.”

Steve nodded and led her to her seat. He then removed the cover off the plate to reveal a piece of salmon, green beans, potatoes, and corn. Next to it sat a small plate of Cesar salad. 

“This is amazing,” Natasha answered as she took a bite of salmon. It was still warm and flaky.

“Slaved all day on it,” he joked.

“Sure you did,” she responded smiling.

After dinner, the waiter cleared their plates and then served them both a piece of cheesecake which had been personally made by Tony.

“Don’t worry. He’s not anywhere in sight,” the waiter answered. Natasha nodded and picked up her fork to take a bite. It was delicious.

They slept in each other’s arms that night while the boat rocked back and forth. The night was beautiful, and because of where they were, no snow or snow clouds in sight. To make things even better, Natasha chose to leave her gun in her bag. As long as Steve held her, she was safe.

“I love you, Natasha,” he said as he kissed her lips.

“I love you too,” she said. She then closed her eyes to sleep, silently thanking him for a romantic night and forgetting the events that happened earlier in the day.

* * *

 

They returned to DC two days later. Somehow, both he and Natasha managed to both get a sunburn, and she had it worse than him. Fortunately there was a bottle of aloe in the medicine cabinet.

“Oo that feels good,” Natasha said as Steve rubbed it on her arms. He made sure he was extra careful when he rubbed her back so that he wouldn’t bump her wounds.

“I’m next,” he joked as he put the cap back on. She then rolled over to sit up and put her shirt back on.

“Thank you for a romantic weekend,” she said as she wrapped her arms around him.

“You’re welcome. I had a good time.”

“Me too, now lay down and shirt off.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”


	11. Only A Soloist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is the conclusion to the little dance trilogy that began in chapter 2. Chapter 7 is part 2. And I now figured out where in the “Love Through the Pain” timeline this lands. This lands between “S.A.F.E.” and “Renewal”. Hope you all enjoy this. This probably not the actual way a dancer becomes a prima ballerina, but hey, it’s fiction. No copyright infringement intended on the song titles. Up next, well we'll just have to wait and see.

“First position,” Natasha instructed. Anna positioned her feet as she had been taught.

“Good, second position.”

It had been about three days since Natasha tried to dance. Today, she was showing Anna how to do the five basic positions of ballet, just like she had been taught in the Red Room. Just as she was about to call for third position, Anna’s cell phone once again rang.

“Sorry, Nat. Be right back,” she said as she tapped the answer button. Within seconds, Natasha found herself alone in the training room.

Assuming Anna was going to be a few minutes on her phone, Natasha decided to try a solo dance again. Walking over to the bench where Anna left her ipad, she opened up the music app and located the song that she had tried to dance to earlier in the week.

As the song played, Natasha danced. There was no fear in her eyes. Just determination to make it through this routine without any interruptions.

At the halfway point of the song, she decided to attempt the element that was the source of her last panic attack. Taking a breath, she went into the first part. Just like being back in the Red Room while her instructor watched, she nailed the jump, but on the next part, she nearly lost her footing. Not wanting another panic attack, she paused and took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself and then resumed dancing.

The song ended as Anna came back into the room. Natasha saw her and stopped.

“Sorry, I uh, I wanted to…” she faded off as Anna came inside the room.

“Nat, it was beautiful,” Anna said.

“You saw me?” she asked.

“Just the last half. You were amazing.”

Natasha nodded thanks as Anna came back into the room to resume her session.

“Ok, let’s try third position,” Natasha said as she took a sip from her water bottle.

“Nat, can I ask you something?” Anna asked as she positioned her hands and feet.

“Sure.”

“Umm, when you were in the Red Room, did they ever call you a prima ballerina?”

“No. I never made it that far,” Natasha answered. “Fourth position please.”

“What happened?” Anna asked. It took her a couple extra seconds to get into position. Fourth and fifth position were a little tricky for her.

“The day before the graduation ceremony, umm, we had a final dance session. Each girl was required to execute all five positions and a routine with at least one advanced element,” Natasha began. “Fifth position.”

“I’m assuming you made it through the positions?” Anna asked.

“Yes. The routine, however, was a challenge. The halfway point was where I was going to execute the advanced element. However I couldn’t do it. I tried to practice it in my spare time, but was always caught. When I did managed to practice it, I could never get it right.”

“So that one element is what cost you the title of ballerina?” Anna asked. Natasha nodded.

“At the graduation ceremony, all they said after my name was that I was only a soloist. Then, before the you-know-what, my instructor told me that I would never be a prima ballerina. That hurt, but not as much as what followed,” Natasha answered.

Anna knew exactly what Natasha was talking about when she said “you-know-what.” She was talking about being sterilized. “Nat, I have an idea, that is if you’re interested.’

“What is it?”

“Now, I’m not a dance instructor or anything, but I think it would be nice to change your title from soloist to prima ballerina,” Anna explained as she grabbed her water bottle.

“What would I have to do?”

“If you can dance a routine that’s nearly flawless, and in front of Steve and Clint, then I will give you your title.”

A knot began to form in Natasha’s chest at the thought of dancing in front of Steve and Clint. What if something happened in the routine? What if one of her attacks took her? Swallowing her breath, she nodded and said that she would try it. She then asked Anna if she wanted to do the same thing, and Anna agreed.

Within minutes, the plans were set. The dances would take place in a couple of days. Natasha would dance to “Love is Not a Fight” by Warren Barfield and Anna would dance to “Great, Great God” by Phillips, Craig, and Dean.

“What would I wear?” Natasha asked.

“Whatever you feel comfortable in. I’ll be wearing yoga pants and a tank top for mine,” Anna answered.

“I think I’ll do the same. Now, let’s get back to your dancing. Arabesque please.”

* * *

 

(2 days later)

Steve and Clint were very excited about today. For the first time in who knows how long, they were going to see Natasha dance. Also, this was Anna’s first solo dance routine since rolling her ankle about a month ago. Meanwhile, in another corner of the room, Natasha and Anna were silently praying. Anna also shared a phrase with Natasha that she would say to calm her nerves.

“Place your hands on the back of your neck, bow your head and close your eyes. Then slowly say. ‘ya znayu, ya tvoi Gospodin.’” Natasha did as Anna instructed. “I said that to myself the first time I danced. It’s basically me saying that I belong to God.”

“I love when it’s said in Russian,” Natasha answered.

“That’s the only way I say it.”

“Anna, can I ask a favor?” Anna nodded yes. “Can I go last?”

“Are you sure?” Natasha nodded.

“Ladies, are we ready?” Coulson asked. Both girls nodded yes. “Alright then, let’s dance.”

* * *

 

Anna kneeled down on the ground. This was the first part of her routine. Coulson began the music and within seconds, she was dancing and breathing slowly to keep calm.

Steve and Clint were in awe. They had seen bits and pieces of this routine, but never the entire thing. It was amazing.

Natasha watched from the back of the room. Anna was doing amazing. Not one mistake yet. It was just like the day she saw her dancing to “A Thousand Years” except this dance was more elegant. Even the one element that Natasha loved watching Anna execute was flawless. Not even she herself could do it as gracefully as her.

The song ended. Anna had both her hands in the air as if she was worshipping God. Steve, Clint, and Coulson quietly applauded her. She then curtsied and walked back to where Natasha was standing.

“Perfect,” Natasha whispered to her.

“Do I get my title?” Anna asked. Natasha nodded. Anna then took a sip of her water bottle. “Ready?”

“I guess so,” Natasha answered. She then walked to the center of the room. Placing her hands behind her back, she lowered her head and whispered the phrase Anna had taught her while Coulson started the music.

* * *

 

The music played as Natasha jumped and twirled and danced the other elements that were a part of this routine. So far, everything was going smoothly, and she could tell.

Steve and Clint were more in awe at Natasha than in Anna. This was the first time either of them had seen her dance by herself. Even though she was wearing yoga pants and a tank top, she still looked amazing.

The final chorus of the song was coming near. Natasha made the quick decision to add in an advanced element.

“God, get me through this,” she whispered to herself during the quick little break.

The chorus began. Natasha danced the same elements from the previous choruses, and even making the arch of her back go a little farther to the point to where Steve though she would lose her balance, but she didn’t.

Then she twirled, and jumped.

Just like always, the jump was perfect. Now all she had to do was the next element.

Within seconds, it was over.

And she did it.

The song ended and she dropped to her knees. Silent tears were falling down her cheeks. Her heart was pounding.

Anna stayed back. From what she saw, Natasha was in the early stages of a panic attack. Did she mess up on the advanced element? There was no way to tell because she didn’t know what the element was.

Steve slowly made his way to where Natasha was kneeling. Getting down on his knees, he grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Nat?” he whispered.

Natasha lifted her head ever so slightly just enough to meet Steve’s gaze. Tears were still falling down her face. “I did it,” she whispered.

“You did good,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead into hers. “You did good,’ he whispered again.

For what seemed like forever, neither of them moved. Natasha was in shock. She had finally mastered the one element that she never thought she could.

Steve moved first. The tears had finally stopped. He then leaned forward to give her a gentle kiss on the lips. “I love you. My beautiful ballerina.”

Natasha smiled as she pulled away. Steve helped her to her feet as Anna came forward.

“Well done, Nat. I loved it,” she said.

“So I guess I got my title then?’

“Yes, you are now a prima ballerina,” Anna answered. Natasha smiled as she wrapped her arms around Anna.

“Thank you. Thank you for encouraging me to dance again,” she whispered

“You’re welcome,”

* * *

 

Clint still couldn’t get over his shock. Natasha had danced. And she had danced with people watching her. It was so beautiful. Her jumps were amazing and her arm movements were beautiful.

Steve had now left the room and so did Anna. Natasha was by herself. The curls in her ponytail were starting to fall out, but that didn’t stop her from turning another song to dance.

From where he sat, he watched her dance once again. The song this time was “At the Cross (Love Ran Red)”. Just like before, her movements were graceful, her jumps seemed higher than before, and even when she dropped to her knees for certain parts, she still looked graceful.

At the conclusion of the song, she turned her head and noticed that Clint was still in the room and watching her. She then got up and walked over to bench and sat next to him.

“That was beautiful, Nat,” he said.

“Thank you,” she responded slightly out of breath.

“It seems like yesterday when I was telling Anna that one day you would dance again. Can’t believe it’s today.”

“Why what’s today?” she asked. So caught up in getting ready for this day she didn’t even think about today being a special day.

“You know what today is,” Clint answered smiling.

Natasha closed her eyes and began to think. What was Clint talking about? “Do I get a hint?” she asked.

Clint smiled as he gave her a hint. Natasha’s smile got even bigger as she realized what today was.

Today was the day she joined SHIELD, and that was six years ago.

“Can’t believe it’s been that long,” she answered.

“Me neither,” Clint answered as he stood up. He then held out his hand to help her up. “I’m glad I did what I did. Not a day goes by that I ever have second thoughts. You have a gift, Nat. I saw it six years ago, and I saw it today.”

“Thank you,” she said as he wrapped his arms around her

“Hope Steve doesn’t mind me saying this, but you are my beautiful ballerina as well. You definitely deserve that title.”

Natasha didn’t answer him. Instead she let herself relax in Clint’s embrace, silently thanking him for giving her a second chance.

The ringing of his cell phone snapped both of them out of their thoughts. Natasha left his arms as he fished in his pocket for his phone. He quietly excused himself from the room as he brought the cell phone to his ear.

Meanwhile, Natasha grabbed Anna’s ipad from where she had left it and made her way towards the door.

She was no longer a soloist.

Instead she was a prima ballerina.


	12. Finding A Purpose Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realized that Natasha never got the chance to meet Peggy before she passed away. Well, here's the two of them meeting. this lands between "A Traumatic Amputation" and "Russia". Up next, well, I once again need to figure that out.

"Steve, are you sure about this?" Natasha asked as he held the door open for her. She was hesitant to walk inside the building. No, it wasn't a hospital.

It was a nursing home.

"Nat, it'll be fine," Steve responded. In all honesty, he was a little nervous about this. What if Peggy was out of it and not thinking straight today? What if she was asleep? Or even worse, what if she died before he got to say "good-bye"?

Once they were inside the building, they signed in at the front desk and then headed towards the back of the building where Peggy's room was.

"Let me go in first, make sure she's up for having a conversation," Steve said as they waited outside Peggy's door. He then lightly knocked.

"Come in," a voice responded. Steve opened the door and stepped inside.

"Afternoon, Peggy," he said as he sat in the chair that was beside her bedside. "How are you today? 

"Not well," she responded. Steve nodded his agreement. She did look more frail than when he saw her last. Sharon had told him a couple days ago that she wasn't doing well and that she might not live much longer. This was one of the reasons Steve was here with Natasha. He wanted to tell Peggy that he finally found a girl.

* * *

 Natasha waited patiently outside Peggy's door while Steve went into talk with her. She was a little nervous about meeting her since she was Steve's first love. There were a million questions flooding her head: what would they talk about? What if Peggy didn't like her? Even more importantly what would she call her? Agent Carter? Peggy? Miss Carter?

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a little girl say something to her mom.

"Mommy, that's Black Widow!"

"Shh, Honey, we use our indoor voice, remember?" the mother said.

"Oh, right, sorry. But look over there. That's Black Widow."

The mother looked at Natasha and smiled. "Sorry."

"No, that's OK. Hi, sweetie. What's your name?" Natasha asked as she bent down to be at the little girl's level.

"Samantha, but everyone at school calls me Sami, and I'm ten," the little girl answered.

"Hi, Sami, I'm Natasha," Natasha said. Sami immediately stuck out her right hand.

"No, not that hand!" Natasha thought to herself. Without making it look awkward, she stuck out her left hand.

"What happened to your hand?" Sami asked as she felt it.

"Sami," the mother said sternly.

"No, it's OK," Natasha responded. She then turned her attention back to Sami. "I lost it in the line of duty,"

"Where did you lose it?'

"No, not like that, sweetie. I don't have a real hand anymore. This is a fake one."

"Is that why you're not with the Avengers anymore?"

Natasha nodded her head yes. The fact that she didn't have her left hand anymore was the reason she was no longer with SHIELD or the Avengers. She didn't feel like she was useful. So, along with Steve, the two of them left SHIELD. They had talked briefly about it, but Natasha was scared to go back.

"Well, I hope one day you decide to go back. I love seeing you and your partner, what's his name, Nighthawk?"

"No, it's Hawkeye," Natasha answered smiling. "Captain America is my other partner, and he and I are getting married.

"Congratulations," Sami exclaimed quietly.

"Thank you."

Just then, Steve peaked his head out the door to tell Natasha it was time to come in.

"Mommy, that's Captain America!"

"Come on, Sweetie, we have to get going. You have ballet practice," the mother said as she took her daughter's hand.

"OK. Bye, Captain. Bye Natasha," Sami responded waving. Steve and Natasha both waved back. Natasha then took a deep breath and walked into the room.

"Peggy, this is my fiancé, Natasha Romanoff," Steve said.

"Oh my dear, it's so wonderful to meet you," Peggy said as she weakly extended her right hand.

"It's a pleasure, Miss Carter," Natasha responded.

"Please, call me Peggy," Peggy responded. Natasha nodded and sat in the chair while Steve sat on the edge of the bed.

At first there was silence. Neither knew what to say. The words of the little girl in the hallway were tugging at Natasha's heart. In all honesty, she did miss fighting alongside the Avengers. It had been almost two months since they had left. Clint had only been out a few times to see her because he was busy with various missions.

"So when will you have the ceremony?" Peggy finally asked breaking the silence.

"Well, we're not quite sure yet. We haven't really talked about it yet," Steve answered. Just then, something small fell onto the floor. Steve looked down and noticed it was Natasha's engagement ring. She usually fiddled around with it when she was nervous.

"I got it," Steve said as he bent down. He then picked up the ring and took Natasha's right hand and slid it back on.

"Steve, isn't it supposed to go on her left hand?" Peggy asked.

"Well, in Russian culture, a husband and wife wear their rings on their right hand. Also, Nat doesn't have a left hand."

"Oh my. What happened?" Peggy asked directed her gaze toward Natasha.

Natasha couldn't answer her. Plus, she wasn't sure where she should begin. How would she explain to Peggy that it happened on a different planet?

"I lost it in the line of duty," Natasha finally answered. "I then resigned from SHIELD. I can't fight anymore."

“Does that mean you’re not working for SHIELD either?” Peggy asked looking at Steve.

Steve nodded his head yes. Peggy then reached over and grabbed Natasha’s hand.

“My dear, may I share a story with you?” she asked. Natasha nodded. “When I worked for the SSR, there was a man named Daniel Sousa. He umm, lost his leg due to being hit with some shrapnel. But that didn’t stop him from doing his job. He was one of the best agents I ever worked with. He always respected me as a woman.”

Steve was slightly inspired by Peggy’s story. The name sounded familiar to him based on reading old files. Natasha had never seen it though. Reading old files wasn’t something she was interested in doing. Maybe now that she knew the story, she would want to look specifically at Sousa’s file and read his accomplishments.

“So, he worked for the SSR, with a prosthetic leg?” Natasha asked. Peggy nodded.

“I just, umm, I don’t know how to use it. I’m still getting used to using it for just the simple things.”

“My dear, the world hasn’t stopped because you don’t have a real hand like I do or Steve does. The world keeps going. If working for SHIELD is what you love, then go back. Learn how to use your hand. Find your purpose again. I’m sure that you will be a great agent no matter what condition you are in,” Peggy said as she squeezed Natasha’s hand.

“So, you think I should go back?” Natasha asked.

“Absolutely, my dear. After all, I’m sure your partner misses you.”

“My partner is actually right here. Although my former partner does miss me,” Natasha answered.

“Then go back, and live your life. I got to live mine, I would hate to see you not live yours.”

Natasha nodded as one of the nurses came in to give Peggy her medicine. Steve saw that as their cue to leave, so after saying their god-byes, they left the nursing home and went to his apartment for lunch.

“So, do you regret saying you didn’t want to come today?” Steve asked after they finished eating.

“Steve, I’m still not sure about going back. I mean, who do you know that can teach me how to use this?” Natasha asked as she held up her left hand.

"We’ll find someone. Maybe one of the local hospitals knows of a place. It’ll be Ok, Nat. and if and when you decide to go back. I’ll be right behind you.

“When you were inside talking with Peggy, there was a little girl who recognized me. She said she was ten years old. Anyway, one of the things that caught my attention was that she said she misses seeing me with the Avengers.”

“She’s ten and she knows who we are?” Steve asked.

“I didn’t ask, but that’s why I was somewhat distracted during the conversation. I was thinking about what she said,” Natasha responded.

“Nat, I would love to be back with the team, but I won’t go without you. I can’t imagine being away from you. What if something happens to me or to you?”

“And what if somethings happens to me while I’m in the field? What if I lose my other hand? I’ll never be able to fight again!” she said as she began to sob. Steve wrapped his arms around her and held her.

“I’ll protect you,” he said into her hair. “Clint will too.”

Natasha looked up at him and into his eyes. Steve was always a man of his word,

“We don’t have to rush,” Steve continued on. “Remember what I told you when we left? I said that I would always be there for you, no matter what.”

“I know you will,” Natasha whispered. Steve then kissed her lightly and drew her close.

* * *

 Over the next week, Natasha learned to use her hand both in her daily life. Instead of calling the hospital, Steve contacted Sam Wilson and asked him if someone at the VA could help them. Sam responded that there was a physical therapist named David who specialized in helping people with prosthetic limbs.

“He used to work at Wounded Warrior Project,” Sam said.

“I’ve heard of them. I would’ve tried them, but Nat's not a war vet, so I wasn’t sure if they would help her.”

“That’s true, and that’s why David left Wounded Warrior Project. He wanted to help war vets and non-war vets,”

“That’s awesome. Thanks Sam for helping me out,”

“Anytime, and make sure you let the lady at the front desk know you who are and that you know me.”

* * *

 David turned out to be a really nice man. For three days a week, Natasha learned how to use her hand in combat. He also told her that she would never hold a gun in that hand or that she wouldn’t be able to wear her widow’s bite, but that didn’t matter. As long as she could take out a few bad guys to complete a mission, she was happy, and with Steve by her side, she was even happier.

“It seems Black Widow had found her purpose again,” David said as he watched Natasha go at a punching bag.

“Indeed she has. Almost looks like she never lost her hand,” Steve responded.

“What is it made out of? It seems as if it’s cosmetically perfect?”

“Not sure. But it works great for her and she hasn’t complained of any pain.”

* * *

 They finally returned to SHIELD after three weeks of training. Coulson was completely surprised. He had no idea they were coming back.

“Where’s Clint?” Natasha asked.

“In the training room, he’s about to leave on a mission in a couple hours.” Coulson responded. Natasha smiled a playful smile as she walked away. She would sneak up and Clint and use her left hand.     

Within minutes, Clint came running through the base with Natasha not too far behind him.

“Come on, Clint, it didn’t hurt that bad. Be thankful it wasn’t my right hand,”

“Geez, Nat, what is that thing made of? Steel?”

”No, I don’t even know,” she responded.

“Well, it’s good to have you back, Nat,” he said as he embraced her,

“It’s good to be back,” she said.

Coulson volunteered to make dinner and everyone sat down. For the first time in nearly three months, the whole team was together, Clint, Coulson, Maria, Steve, and Natasha.

It was wonderful, and Natasha was grateful to be back.


	13. Who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is part one of a three-part amnesia series.It was inspired by two lines from a story on AO3 titled “One of 28 Young Ballerinas by TaraHarkon. The lines were: “Don’t get hit with your husband’s shield” and “pin Barton to the mat. I had been wanting to do this “Simple Moment” ever since I first started writing these, but as you can see, other ones came first. This series takes place between “One Plus One Equals” and “Bahrain”. Up next: part 2.

"Eight, nine, ten,” Anna counted to herself as she was stretched her right calf muscle. She then switched feet to stretch her left calf muscle.

“Ready, Anna?” a voice asked. It was Natasha. Anna finished counting and turned to where Natasha was entering the training room.

“Yeah, where’s Clint and Steve?” she asked.

“Steve’s on his way, Clint, umm, I don’t-”

Within seconds, Clint dropped out of an air vent and took up a defensive stance in front of Anna. Anna wasted no time in raising her foot and kicking him in the knee.

“Ow!” Clint whined.

“That’s what you get for scaring me,” Anna answered smiling.

“Oh come on, I do it to Nat all the time,” Clint argued.

“Do what to Nat all the time/” Steve asked as he entered the room. He was dressed in a somewhat fitted gray t-shirt and sweatpants. His shield was on his arm.

“Nothing,” Clint said smiling.

“Nothing is nothing when it comes to my wife,” Steve answered jokingly.

“Agent Barton here jumped out the vent and scared the crap out of me, just like he does to Nat,” Anna answered. Steve looked at Clint for confirmation.

“OK, OK, you win. I’m sorry,” Clint answered raising his hands in surrender.

“Scare me again and you can forget about your Christmas gift this year,” Anna answered.

“That goes for me too, Barton,” Steve answered. “Now, let’s get this training session started. Clint nodded his head. Steve was going to pay for his comment.

"No Widow’s Bite today, Nat?” Steve asked as he started to stretch beside her.

“I’m not ready to use it yet,” she answered. Steve looked at her concerningly. It had only been a few weeks since her miscarriage. Was she still not up to par from that? Maybe today’s training was a bad idea.

“Nat, if you’re not up to par yet, you can sit out, or we can do this a different day,” Steve said as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“No, it’s OK. I can do this,” she answered.

“OK, but if you start to feel tired, just stop and take a break.” Natasha nodded.

After everyone finished stretching, the foursome began their training session. Clint was partnered with Natasha and Steve was with Anna. They would eventually switch partners. The purpose of this training session was to see what kind of skills Anna had since she joined SHIELD last year and to get Natasha used to physical movements again.

* * *

 

Despite there being a thirteen-inch height difference, Steve and Anna were going at each other like normal. He wisely chose though to be careful with Anna so that he wouldn’t hurt her. She however was not going easy on him. The second he dropped to his knees, Anna pounced on top of him and pinned him down.

“You do realize that I could throw you off of me, right?” he asked as Anna pressed harder and tried her best not to laugh.

“Throw me off of you and you too won’t get a Christmas present from me,” Anna responded smiling. Steve smiled playful and then rolled over, lightly pinning Anna on the ground.

“OK, OK, I regret what I said to Barton, now let me up!” she pleaded. Steve moved away so she could get to her feet.

After grabbing a drink of water, Steve picked up his shield while Anna grabbed two training guns. Instead of shooting bullets, it shot lasers. Tony had made them on his last visit out here, which was about a month ago.

“Let’s see how many shots you can get at a moving and stationary target,” Steve said.

“Stationary I can do. Moving, well, it’s going to be interesting,” Anna answered.

“Alright then, have at it,” Steve said as he brought up his shield to defend himself. Anna immediately began shooting.

Once she had gotten enough shots at his shield, he began to move around the room, even running past Clint and Natasha who were trading blows and ducking each other’s kicks.

“Come on, Anna, that the best you can do?” Clint called. The next thing he knew, his feet were swiped out from underneath him and Natasha was pinning him down.

“Think you can do better than her?” Natasha asked.

“Probably could. Let me up and we’ll find out,” Clint answered.

“Nah, I changed my mind. I already know the answer. You would do better than her. You’re Hawkeye.”

“Yeah, but she’s younger than me, so she’s faster. Let me up!”

“Nope, not gonna happen,” Natasha responded as she pinned him harder.

“Romanoff!” Steve shouted as he threw his shield. He was giving Anna a different target to shoot at instead of him. Natasha finally eased her grip on Clint and stood up.

And that’s when the fatigue hit.

The room was spinning around her. It didn’t make sense. Was it because she moved too fast? Oh well, that didn’t matter right now. What mattered was that something was coming toward her. Something round.

Whack!

“Nat!” Steve shouted when he realized where his shield hit.

It hit Natasha in the head.

She fell to the floor, unmoving. The last thing that escaped her lips was a loud groan.

“Oh, God, please no!” Steve cried as he ran to her. Anna was already rushing out to get Dr. Anderson while Clint moved to lift Natasha’s head onto his knees.

“Nat, can you hear me?” he asked as he patted her cheek. By now, Steve was kneeling on the ground next to him.

Natasha opened her eyes. Everything seemed blurry around her and her head hurt like crazy.

“Who’s Nat,” she asked weakly.

“Oh no,” Steve gasped to himself. “This can’t be good.

Dr. Anderson rushed in the room with Anna not too far behind him. "What happened?”

Steve opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. This was his fault and he knew it.

“She was hit with Steve’s shield, and fairly hard too,” Clint answered as Dr. Anderson knelt down by him. Meanwhile, Steve stood up and ran out of the room. He was upset that he hurt his wife. Anna decided to follow him and offer whatever comfort she could.

“Natasha, can you look at me?” Dr. Anderson asked.

“Who’s Natasha?” she asked weakly.

“Uh-oh. Umm, Clint, you’re not going to like this,” Dr. Anderson said worriedly.

“What, what is it?” Clint asked nervously.

“It appears the impact from the hit messed with her memory.”

“So, wait, Nat doesn’t have any memory at all?” Clint asked getting more nervous.

“Well, she could have some memory. Let’s get her back to medical so I can run a couple tests,” Dr. Anderson responded. Clint nodded as he lifted Natasha into his arms.

“It’s gonna be OK, Nat. You’re gonna be fine. Dr. Anderson’s gonna help you,” Clint soothed.

Natasha didn’t answer him. She didn’t know who was talking to her or why this person was carrying her.


	14. What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I shifted things around so that this three-part amnesia series would be back to back to back. Here is part two. Next will be part 3.

Natasha didn’t know where she was.

All around her, people were moving and giving each other directions. It was a mixture of male and female voices.

“Lay her here, Clint,” a male voice spoke.

The surface was hard, like an examination table.

“How bad is it?” a female voice asked.

“I’ll know as soon as this scan is done,” the male voice answered.

A machine was turned on and she felt the table moving backward. She let her eyes close. Minutes later, the table moved forward and someone grabbed her hand and held it in theirs.

“Looks like it’s just a mild brain injury,” the male voice spoke once the machine was turned off.

“But she didn’t know who she was when she woke up,” another male voice spoke.

“How hard did she get hit?”

“Steve was pretty far away, maybe five or six feet.”

Dr. Anderson studied the image of Natasha’s brain. He didn’t really see anything that looked suspicious to him.

“Let’s move her somewhere quiet so she can rest. There’s a lot of activity going on. Rest will help it slow down,” the male voice spoke.

Natasha opened her eyes when she felt arms lift her body into theirs. They were carrying her to another room.

“What’s happening,” she asked quietly.

“Shh, don’t talk, Nat. Just relax, everything will be OK.”

Natasha let her eyes close again as this person carried her to another room. They slipped shut as he laid her on a soft bed with a pillow. She let out a slow breath as she felt a blanket being pulled up to her chest. A hand then stroked her forehead and she felt herself relax.

* * *

 Steve was upset.

He had hurt his wife. To make things worse, she didn’t know who she was. What if it was worse than it looked? What if Natasha never again knew who she was? He had read on the internet about soldiers who came home from war who had suffered brain injuries, but could he himself live with a person like that, especially someone he loved?

Anna came into the kitchen where he was sitting. In her hand she had her ipad.

“Whatcha reading?“ he asked trying to take his mind off what was going on.

“About to start a new book I just bought,” she responded as she sat down with a glass of lemonade. “How’s Nat?”

“I don’t know. I’m afraid to find out,” Steve answered.

“She’s going to be fine. Didn’t you tell me once she’s a fighter, or was that Clint?”

“We both told you that. But this, I don’t know if she can fight this. She doesn’t know who she is.”

“Do you want me to find out and then tell you?” Anna asked. Steve thought about that. It probably would be easier hearing it from Anna than from Dr. Anderson. Then again, there was also the possibility that Dr. Anderson wouldn’t tell her due to patient confidentiality.

“If he’ll tell you the results, then go ahead,” he finally answered. Anna nodded and stood up to leave. As she did, Dr. Anderson entered the kitchen.

“Sorry, Anna,” he said when they bumped into each other. “There you are, Steve.”

“Is she going to be OK?”

“Other than rapidly moving brain activity, nothing gave me any concern. She’s in her room sleeping,” Dr. Anderson answered. Steve breathed a sigh of relief, however the thought of Natasha not knowing who she was still frightened him.

“Once she wakes up again, we’ll see if there’s any more damage based on how she responds to certain questions. The good news is that I don’t see any long term damage,” Dr. Anderson continued on.

“I’m damaged though. I’m the one who did this to her!” Steve said as a sob began to build up in his throat.

“Steve, you can’t dwell on that. You’ll be miserable the rest of your life if you do,” Anna spoke up.

“It’s true though. She’ll hate me when she learns the truth!”

“Steve, you don’t know that, and it was an accident,” Dr. Anderson spoke. Steve put his head down and sobbed. How could he let this go? Would he be able to get passed this?

“Steve, Natasha loves you, and I’m sure she’ll forgive you. I know one person who already has,” Anna soothed.

Steve knew who she was talking about. She was talking about God. If God can forgive him of this, then Natasha certainly could too.

The sound of crying snapped everyone out of their thoughts. It was baby Maria. Steve had left her with Coulson while he went to go train. Steve stood up to leave, but Anns stopped him.

“I got it, Steve,” Anna responded as she got up. Meanwhile, Dr. Anderson stayed back to talk further with him about what he wanted to do to help Natasha.

“I think it would be best if we remind her about something good. If all she is able to remember is the bad, then it’s going to be a long road for all of us.”

Steve thought for a few minutes about all of the good times he and Natasha have had since becoming partners. There was him buying the necklace for her on Alderaan, him proposing to her, their wedding, her becoming a Christian, the renewal of their vows, the day they adopted baby Maria. The list was endless!

“There’s so many, and some of them have bad memories that surround it,” Steve responded.

“I would say think of the one that hopefully won't trigger any bad memories. So maybe the renewal of your wedding vows or your honeymoon. I remember she was telling me how amazing it was during one of her checkups,” Dr. Anderson said. Steve nodded as Anna came back into the room holding Maria, who was sucking on a bottle of milk.

“Is Nat awake yet?” Dr. Anderson asked.

“Not sure. Clint had the door closed halfway, but I didn’t look inside,” Anna answered.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Steve asked getting a little worried.

“The longer she rests, the faster it will take for her brain to slow down so that when she does wake up, she might be a little more aware of what’s going on.”

* * *

 Natasha slowly cracked open an eye to see where she was. She was laying on something hard.

No, it was soft. But earlier she was laying on something hard. Did someone move her? Yes, they did. After whoever was done examining her, she had been moved to a softer bed to relax from whatever was done to her.

She finally managed to open both eyes and glance around to try and figure out where she was. In front of her was a TV, which was turned off, and a person was sitting on her right holding her hand.

She opened her mouth to speak, but instead a small cough came out. Whoever was holding her hand set it down on the bed and moved away. Within seconds, he was back and was lifting her head gently.

“Here,” he whispered softly as he guided the straw into her mouth. She closed her mouth around the plastic straw and drank. When she finished, she felt her head being lowed back down on the pillow.

“Thank you, whoever you are,” she responded. Whoever this person was, he was being very kind to her.

“Nat, it’s me, Clint,” the voice answered. “Can you look at me?”

Natasha turned her head to look at the man who was speaking to her. She recognized his voice.

“Clint?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he responded.

“Where am I?”

“You’re in your room.”

“Is it time to start training?”

Clint was silent for a few seconds. He was unsure if he should tell her what happened. Then again, him and Steve both promised her that they wouldn’t keep anything important from her. Taking her hand in his and choosing his words carefully, he explained to her what happened.

“No, I’m not married, love is for children,” she responded. Clint lifted her hand so that she could look at it.

“Nat, that’s your wedding ring. You’re married to Steve Rogers.”

“The only Steve Rogers I know is dead,” she answered.

“No, he’s here.”

Natasha was confused. There was no way she was married. The Red Room had taught her that love was for children. Glancing at her hand that Clint was still holding so she could see it, she tried her hardest to think what was around her finger. Yes, it was a ring, but there was no way it was a wedding ring.

“Natasha, you married Steve Rogers here at SHIELD. I was Steve’s best man” Clint continued on. Just then, Steve and Dr. Anderson came into the room. Anna was behind them, but she stayed back to give Natasha some space. A lot of people would confuse her even more than she probably was.

“How’s she doing, Clint?” Steve asked. Clint turned his head and looked at Steve with a concerned face. Steve instantly knew something was wrong.

“Here, Clint, let me sit down for a second,” Dr. Anderson said. Clint set Natasha’s hand down on the bed and stood up. Dr. Anderson sat down where he had just been sitting.

“Can you look at me?” he asked. Natasha looked at him and for the next few minutes, he asked her simple questions to asses her brain. Some questions she answered correctly while others she didn’t know.

“Are you married?” he asked.

“Yes, I married Steve Rogers, and Clint Barton was his best man,” she answered.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked.

“Clint.”

“No, I’m your doctor, Dr. Gale Anderson, from Alderaan, but I live here at SHIELD now,” he answered.

“Is SHIELD good or bad?”

“They’re the good guys. They won’t hurt you,” he soothed. Natasha relaxed at that. She had spent most of her life hurting innocent people and being hurt by other people. It was nice to know that these people weren’t going to hurt her.

“My head hurts. Was I hit by something?”

“Yes, you were hit by your husband’s shield during a training exercise,” Dr. Anderson answered. Natasha moved her hand to her head where she felt a bump.

“Is that why I have a bump on my head?” she asked. Dr. Anderson nodded yes.

“It’s going to be OK. You might not remember anything now, but in time you will. We’re all going to help you. Right now I need you to focus on getting rest. I’ll run another scan on your brain in a couple of days to see if things are improving. The fact that you’re starting to remember a few things now is a good sign.”

Natasha closed her eyes as she felt sleep tugging at her.

“Want Steve. Want my husband,” she mumbled. Dr. Anderson nodded and stood up to allow Steve to sit down by her.

“I’m right here, Nat. and I love you,” he said kissing her forehead.

“I love you too,” she mumbled before falling asleep. 


	15. Remember?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the conclusion to the amnesia series.

Clint and Steve both accompanied Natasha to the medical bay for her second brain scan. It had been a few days since she had woken up and most of that time was spent either sleeping or one of the team members telling her a story to help jog her memory. For example, Coulson gave her a refresher course on what SHIELD stood for and what they did, Officer Kennedy reminded her that he and Dr. Anderson were from Alderaan, and Anna reminded her of the day she accepted Christ as her savior.

Natasha was able to recall everything they talked about, but for some reason, she still couldn't recall the fact that Steve was her husband. When Steve tried to show her the ring that was around her finger, she thought it was Leia's and that Dr. Anderson gave it to her to keep as a memory.

The second Natasha stepped foot in the medical bay, she froze. She had seen this place before. She tried to back away slowly, but ran into Steve, and that was enough to startle her. Immediately, she turned around and stood defensively in front of them, fists raised as if to attack.

"Easy, Nat," he soothed as she looked at him with wild eyes. She flinched when his hand closed around her fist. Slowly, she moved her hand to allow their fingers to lace together.

"Sorry, Captain," she whispered. She then pulled away and went into the room. Steve and Clint followed.

"How are you feeling today?" Dr. Anderson asked as Natasha laid down on the table.

"Like I want to sleep all day. I can maybe be awake for a half hour before wanting to sleep again. My head still hurts too," she answered as she did her best to get comfortable.

"Tylenol or Ibuprofen will help with your headaches. As far as the fatigue, It's probably due to the effects of being knocked out and from your miscarriage a couple months ago."

Natasha flinched at the thought of her miscarriage. That she definitely did remember, and she wished she could forget it.

"Ready?" Dr. Anderson asked snapping her out of her thoughts. Natasha closed her eyes and nodded her head.

Steve and Clint watched as Dr. Anderson turned on the machine that was going to scan Natasha's brain. As the scan progressed, Steve thought of ways he could remind Natasha that the two of them were married besides showing her the pictures that were on his computer. He wanted to do something special, something that would create a new memory for both of them.

The sound of the machine powering down interrupted his thoughts. Dr. Anderson then brought up the images of Natasha's brain on the screen.

"This looks a lot better than it did a few days ago. The extra sleep is helping," he said.

"When will I be back to normal?" Natasha asked.

"Well, most of your memories seem to be triggered by events, so I'd say within a few weeks you should be OK to resume physical activities. Just be sure and listen to your body. Don't push yourself farther if your body tells you not too," Dr. Anderson answered. Natasha nodded and stood up to leave the room. She wanted to lay back down in her bed. Clint stood up and followed her. Steve stayed behind to talk to Dr. Anderson.

"Steve, don't be upset over this," Dr. Anderson said noticing how upset he was.

"I just don't get it. She seems to remember everything else except the fact that we're married. What if she never remembers me?"

Dr. Anderson thought for a few minutes on what Steve could do. Then an idea came into his head.

"Steve, where were you when you proposed to her?" Dr. Anderson asked.

"We were at my apartment after the incident on Alderaan. I made her favorite dinner and then proposed to her," he answered.

"Maybe you should try and recreate that night. When was the last time you guys were at your apartment?"

"Oh geez, it's been awhile."

"I would suggest going back there for a couple nights. It'll give both of you a chance to take a break and get some rest," Dr. Anderson suggested.

"I would have to make a trip to the grocery store beforehand."

"Even better. Why don't you leave now and get whatever you need for dinner? I'll have Clint drop Natasha off later and you guys can enjoy some quiet time together."

"I like that idea. Thanks, Doctor," Steve responded.

"Anytime."

* * *

 

Clint settled Natasha back into her bed and with a cup of passion tea lemonade that Anna brought back for her.

"I remember when Anna first had me try this drink. We were out shopping for her a dress for Maria's baptism. She said it was one of her favorite summer drinks," Natasha said after taking a sip. She then handed the cup to Clint for him to try.

"It tastes sweet," he said.

"Just like I remember the first time I tried it."

"Speaking of memories, do you remember my family?" Clint asked. Natasha looked at Clint a little confused. She didn't know he had a family.

"You're married?" she asked.

"Yes, her name is Laura," Clint answered.

"Oh yeah, and you have three kids: Cooper, Nathaniel, and Lilly."

"Lila," Clint corrected.

"Oh, right. Lila. Sorry."

"It's OK. Do you remember what she likes to do with you?"

Again, Natasha tried to think of what her and Lila did together. Glancing around the room, she saw a painted picture of a butterfly hanging up on the wall.

"We like to color and paint together," she answered.

"Well, that's one thing you guys like to do. But there's something else," Clint said as he stood up. He then started to move around the room as he hummed a song.

"Oh, dancing. She loves to watch me dance," Natasha said.

"There you go. Remember she came to the base one day and you and I danced a routine for her?"

Natasha's mind instantly flashed back to the day her and Clint danced for Lila, however her brain couldn't remember the song.

"I remember dancing, but I don't remember the song," she answered.

"It was called 'Waiting on the Night to Fall' by Casting Crowns."

The words of the song started to play in Natasha's mind as well as the routine. It was her first routine with a partner and she was very nervous. But she got through it and was proud of herself.

"There's another song you danced to. It was the song that turned you into a prima ballerina. Do you remember that one?" Clint asked. Natasha took another sip of her drink as she thought back to that day.

"Wasn't it "Love is Not A Fight?" she asked.

"Yes, you danced it in front of Steve and me."

"is Steve really my husband?"

"Yes, you and he married in front of a judge the same day you returned to SHIELD after recovering from your captivity in Russia," Clint answered.

"Was Anna there?"

"No, that was before we knew who Anna was. Maria Hill was there. She was your maid of honor."

Just then, Anna came into the room holding Maria in her arms.

"Hey, Nat, someone wants to see you," she said. Natasha set her cup down on the table to take the baby from Anna's arms.

"Hi, malyutka," she said. "Is she mine?"

"Yes, she's your adopted daughter, Maria Amidala Rogers," Anna answered.

"Oh yeah, Leia passed away and gave her to me. Does that mean Steve is the adoptive father?"

Anna and Clint both nodded their heads. Just then, Clint's phone went off indicating he had an incoming message.

"Nat, you up for something to eat?" he asked once he read the text.

"You taking me to dinner," she asked.

"Well, I'm not eating with you. Your husband, Steve, will be eating with you."

"So I am married."

"Yes, he's at his apartment. And it sounds like he cooked up something delicious," Clint said. Natasha smiled and nodded yes that she would go. Anna agreed to watch the baby.

Within a half hour, she and Clint were on their way to Steve's apartment.

* * *

 

Steve put the finishing touches on Natasha's special dinner: chicken cooked in a crockpot, along with potatoes, and steam-cooked vegetables. He even had time to straighten up his apartment and make the small dining table look similar to a restaurant table.

Just as he was lighting the two candles that were in the center, someone knocked on the door. "Steve, we're here," a voice spoke. It was Clint.

Walking to the door, he took a deep breath and opened it. Natasha looed beautiful. It wasn't fancy or anything, but she looked better than she had been the past few days.

''Hi," he said smiling.

"Hi," she answered.

"Anna's watching Maria. You guys enjoy all the time you want," Clint said before turning to leave.

"Shall we dine together, Miss Romanoff?" Steve asked politely. Natasha nodded her head yes. Steve took her hand and led her to the table. After pushing her chair closer to the table, he went into the kitchen to retrieve their plates.

“Wow, did you make this?” she asked as he set the plate in front of her.

“Worked all afternoon on it,” he answered as he sat down with his.

The two of them ate in silence. Steve was wondering if this was working. Was Natasha starting to remember anything about the two of them?

“It’s been awhile since I’ve had anything like this,” she said as she took a sip of water.

“Do you remember when I first made this for you?” he asked. Natasha closed her eyes to think. It had been a long time since someone ever made her dinner. The last time she remembered a romantic dinner was on someone’s boat in the middle of the ocean.

“Didn’t Tony host a party on his yacht or something?” she asked.

“Well, he let me borrow his yacht for the weekend. And we had salmon,” Steve answered.

“Why would you borrow Tony’s yacht. Were you taking a girl on a date?”

“I was with my wife on our honeymoon,” Steve answered. Natasha closed her eyes as the thought of another instance when she had a fancy dinner entered her mind. It was with Maria Hill and Pepper, and it was at a fancy restaurant.

“Is this the same dinner we had at the restaurant with Pepper and Maria?” she asked.

“You did. I left and then came back to pick you up later.”

Natasha smiled just a little bit. Everything was starting to come back to her. The fancy dinner at the restaurant was what Maria called her bridal shower, the night on Tony’s boat was her honeymoon.

“By the way, that’s a nice ring,” he said snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Thanks, my husband gave it to me,” she answered.

“Yeah, who’s that?”

“He’s a captain in the army,” she answered smiling.

“What’s his name?”

Natasha stood up and walked around to where Steve was sitting. She then took his hand and pulled him to his feet. “Steven Grant Rogers,” she whispered.

“Hmm, not sure I know him,’ Steve said. Natasha wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his shoulder.

“Steve, it’s you. You’re my husband,” she said fighting back tears. Steve smiled as he wrapped his arms around Natasha. He held her tight as she continued to talk. “You made me this dinner when I lost my finger to one of the factory machines on Alderaan, although this time it was much better. Then you got down on one knee and asked me to marry you. I said yes, and then many months later, we got married.”

“Yes, that’s right. Oh, Nat. I love you!” he exclaimed. She then leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips.

“I love you, too.”

* * *

They eventually made their way to the bedroom for bed. Natasha spoke of getting pregnant, but then finding out that she wouldn’t carry the baby full term.

“I remember you telling me not to be afraid. You said that you would love me for a thousand years,” Natasha said as he held her in his arms.

“And I’ll love for a thousand more,” he responded. After gently kissing her forehead, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

He lay awake for a few minutes and watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful in his arms. She knew where she was and who was holding her, and for that he was grateful.

“Now this is a memory,” he said to himself.

It was definitely a new memory for both of them.

One he hoped neither of them would forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> malyutka: little one


	16. A Christmas To Believe In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is my Christmas "Simple Moment". No copyright infringement intended on the lyrics used. Enjoy!

"Natasha is going to love this," Dr. Anderson said as he handed Steve a small bag. Inside was Natasha's Christmas present.

"What am I going to love?" Natasha asked coming into the room. Steve quickly hid the bag behind his back.

"Oh, nothing," he said playfully.

"Uh-huh," Natasha answered. "Come on, Steve. What are you hiding?"

"You're not supposed to question your Christmas gift," he teased.

"Fine, but tomorrow, that better be the first present I open, or you will be finding yourself in medical." And with that she grabbed what she needed and left the room.

"Phew, that was close," Steve said.

"I'd suggest you do as she says. I'm not here tomorrow since I'll be with Kathleen and her family for Christmas. Oh, that reminds me. Could you give this to Anna for me?" Dr. Anderson asked as he handed another package to Steve.

"What is it?"

"It's her Christmas gift. There's a note inside that explains it," Dr. Anderson answered.

"I sure will. Enjoy your time away."

"I will, and merry Christmas," Dr. Anderson said.

"Merry Christmas, Doctor."

* * *

 

"Save a seat for me when I get done singing," Anna said to Natasha.

"I'll do my best. I imagine it's going to be very crowded tonight," Natasha replied. Anna then headed toward the green room where she would pray with the worship team before going on stage to sing. Not only was she singing with the team, she was singing a special solo during the offering time. She was very excited because the song was a song was new to the radio, and she had fallen in love with it. She asked her worship leader about it and he agreed to let her sing it.

The first three songs of the service were three songs that had become three of Natasha's favorite Christmas songs since last year. They were: "God, Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" (which Anna had said they were singing the version by MercyMe), "O Holy Night," and "Hark, the Herald Angels sing/King of Heaven". Anna had told her that when she sang this song last year, she didn't know all the lyrics to the verses, but this year she memorized them for this service so that she would hopefully not have to look at the screen as often.

After Pastor Evans gave the announcements, he then called the ushers forward to collect the offering. The lights also dimmed just a bit as the worship leader began to play the opening piano for Anna's solo.

 _Love incarnate, love divine_  
Star and angels gave the sign  
Bow to babe on bended knee  
The Savior of humanity  
Unto us a Child is born  
He shall reign forevermore

Natasha was quite surprised when she heard what song Anna was singing. She had heard this song on the radio a couple times, but she had no idea that Anna was going to be singing it. To be honest, she thought Anna was doing a better job than the actual artist that sang it.

 _Son of God and Son of man_  
There before the world began  
Born to suffer, born to save  
Born to raise us from the grave  
Christ the everlasting Lord  
He shall reign forevermore

By the second chorus, Natasha was almost to tears. This song was absolutely beautiful. Even Steve, Clint, and Coulson were wiping a tear or two from their eyes. What made the song even more prettier was the violin that was playing in the background.

By the final chorus, Anna had her hand raised in the air. Even Natasha raised hers a bit, despite sitting down. She even let the tears roll down her face. As she wiped them away with a tissue, she quietly began to sing along with Anna.

 _Noel, Noel_  
Come and see what God has done  
Noel, Noel  
The story of amazing love!  
The light of the world, given for us  
Noel  
Noel

The congregation applauded lightly as Anna left the stage and went back to the green room. She would come into the service from the back. Pastor Evans then came onto the stage to preach his message.

Pastor Evans first began by reading a passage from scripture which Natasha recognized as the Christmas story. It was so amazing to read how a baby, who was born in a stable, would grow up to save people from their sins.

"As you spend time with family and friends tomorrow and are opening gifts, remember this one thing, and I'll use the words from Grandpa George in Veggie Tales: the Toy That Saved Christmas, 'Christmas isn't about getting. It's about giving, and it's especially about a little baby name Jesus, who was the greatest gift of all.'"

After prayer, Anna and Rob Greiner, the worship leader, came back on stage to perform a duet called "There's A New Kid in Town."

 _There's a new kid in town_  
And he's lying in a manger down the road  
There's a new kid in town  
But he's just another baby I suppose  
Heaven knows  
There's a new kid in town  
Here in Bethlehem

Natasha was once again wiping the tears from her eyes as Anna and Rob sang. Like the song from earlier in the service, this one was beautiful as well. Anna told her she fell in love with it the first time she heard it.

When the service ended, Anna drove them to where they had parked the quinjet. The plan was for them to fly back to DC during the night so that they celebrate Christmas with one another and enjoy a delicious dinner. To add to the fun, Clint's wife and kids were also coming. They would've come to the service tonight, but their connecting flight in Ohio was delayed by two hours due to engine malfunction. So, if everything went right, everyone would be together at noon on Christmas day.

* * *

 

A knock on their door immediately awakened Natasha and she sat up in bed. It wasn’t a loud knock, but enough to startle her from a near-dreamless sleep. Glancing at the clock, which read 10:30 am (wow, she had slept that long since they got in around three in the morning) she groaned and got out of bed to see who it was. There was no way it could be Steve. He was fast asleep beside her, holding her when she flinched or her breathing changed.

As she neared the door, she began to hear someone singing.

“More than just a merry Christmas, I’m wishing you a Christmas to believe in. Where the moments turn to memories, and years from now you’ll close your eyes to see them,” the voice continued on as Natasha opened the door.

What she saw made her want to melt.

Steve was standing in the doorway, phone in one hand and a present in the other. He also had on a Santa hat. “More than just another busy season. I’m wishing you a Christmas to believe in.”

Natasha smiled as she tried to fight back tears. The song continued to play on Steve’s phone as he came inside the room. “Merry Christmas, Nat,” he said.

“Merry Christmas, Steve,” she answered. “Nice hat.”

“Thanks. Bought it yesterday before church.”

“So, can I open my gift now?”

"You can,” Steve answered as he handed the gift to Natasha. He then pulled it away before she could grab it. “Or I can make you wait and then you can beat me up. However, Dr. Anderson’s not in DC right now, so there’s no one to patch me up afterwards.”

“I’ll beat you up now for using a pillow to try and fake that you were asleep next to me,” Natasha said glaring at him.

“It was only for ten minutes. Come on, don’t make me put you on the naughty list.”

“The naughty list? Really Steve?”

“Yep, Clint’s already on it for waking me up singing before I even wanted to be up,” Steve answered.

“That’s Barton for you. He does that every year.”

“Wait a minute, so that means you heard him, thus meaning you weren’t asleep this morning when I left you,” Steve said smiling.

“Fooling people is my specialty, just like interrogations. And I will interrogate you for hours on what my Christmas gift is,” Natasha said. Her glare getting more intimidating by the second. Steve finally caved and handed her the small bag. He then paused the music on his phone while she sat down on the bed to open her gift.

“I had Dr. Anderson help me out with this one,” Steve said as he watched Natasha unfold the tissue paper to reveal a small velvet box. Very delicately, as if handling glass, she opened the lid.

She nearly dropped it when she saw what was inside.

It was her necklace that she had lost in Bahrain.

“Steve, how did you?” she asked as she let more tears roll out.

“When Coulson gave me your journal back after he was done reading it, he mentioned to me that you had written something about losing your necklace. I then had Dr. Anderson go to Alderaan for me to replace it,” Steve explained.

“This is just amazing. That necklace meant so much to me. It was your first ever love gift,” Natasha sobbed.

“I still remember the day I bought it for you. It was the first time we expressed our love to each other,” Steve said wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sobbed quietly.

A couple minutes later, she lifted her head. “Will you put it on me? Like you did before?”

“Of course.”

He moved his arm from around her shoulders and she handed him the box. Once the necklace was out, he stood up and took her hand to help her to her feet.

“I care, Nat,” he whispered as he put the necklace around her neck. With delicate fingers, he closed the tiny clasp and pulled out her hair.

“And so do I,” she sobbed as she turned around to face him. He then leaned in and kissed her gently while his arms went around her to hold her.

“I’ll love you for a thousand years,” he whispered into her hair.

“I’ll love you for a thousand more.”

“Wait, hold on a second,” he said pulling away.

“Steve what are you doing?” Natasha asked.

“You’ll see.” Within seconds, Matthew West’s song was once again playing on his phone. He was then back to holding her close. “Just like the song says right? ‘it’s a slow dance in the kitchen’? Well, this is slow dance in our bedroom,” Steve said.

“Oh, Steve,” she said as she leaned her head on his shoulder. He then swayed them back and forth to the music.

A knock on their door interrupted their moment.   

“Auntie Nat? Uncle Steve?” A voice called. It was Lila.

Steve and Nat smiled and laughed softly as they pulled away.

“Just a minute, Sweetie,” Natasha answered.

“OK. Auntie Anna’s awake too. We’re all waiting to open presents.” Lila replied.

“OK, we’ll be there soon.”

Once they knew for sure Lila was gone, they continued to dance until the song ended. After sharing another kiss, they pulled away to get dressed.

Before leaving the room, Natasha quickly glanced in the mirror at her necklace. It was absolutely beautiful, just like the day when he first gave it to her.

“Shall we, my dear?” Steve asked holding out his hand. Natasha smiled.

“We shall.”

* * *

 

Everyone was already in the living room and the presents were sorted by the time Steve and Natasha arrived. Lila stood up and ran to Natasha for a hug.

“Auntie Nat!” she squealed. Natasha picked her up and she wrapped her arms around her.

“Merry Christmas, malyutka,” she said into Lila’s hair.

“Merry Christmas to you,” Lila answered. Seconds later, she squirmed to get down and go back to her pile of presents.

By the time they were done, wrapping paper was everywhere Even Clint, thanks to Lila, had a red bow stuck to his head.

“Oh, Anna, there’s one more gift for you. Hang on,” Steve said as he stood up. Within seconds, he was back and handing Anna a small package that was similar to the one he gave Natasha earlier this morning.

Anna first opened the envelope that was inside the bag. “I think Leia would want you to have this. Merry Christmas, Miss Flannigan. Dr. Anderson and Kathleen,” Anna read off the card. She then opened the box to reveal a necklace.

Leia’s necklace.

“Very pretty, Anna,” Natasha said as Anna put the necklace around her neck.

“What did hers say inside of it again?” Clint asked.

“Princess Leia Amidala Skywalker Organa Solo,” Anna replied.

“That’s right, Hey, now you have two of those.”

“Daddy, look. Auntie Anna and Auntie Nat are twins!” Lila exclaimed. Clint turned and looked at Natasha. Sure enough, there was a necklace similar to Anna’s around Natasha’s neck.

“Nat, is that what I think it is?” Clint asked.

“Yes, Steve had Dr. Anderson replace it for me,” Natasha responded.

“What does yours say. Auntie Nat?” Lila asked.

“Mine just has the letter N in it for my name.”

“It could also stand for new, because you became a new person after Bahrain. It took time, but you healed slowly,” Steve responded. Natasha smiled as she grasped the pennant in her hand.

“It’s a heart returning home, to the One who is the reason. Every Christmas is a Christmas to believe in,” Natasha sang. Everyone nodded in agreement.

This was definitely a Christmas she would not forget.

The silence was broken as the sound of the Blu-ray player was opened and then closed.

“Time to watch _It’s a Wonderful Life_!” Cooper exclaimed.

“The black and whiter version, right?” Steve asked.

“Yep, just like it should be,” Cooper answered. Meanwhile, everyone moved around to get comfortable. Lila, instead of sitting on Natasha’s lap, moved so that she was sitting on Anna’s lap.

“Want to sit with you this year,” she said.

“I’d like that, malyutka,” Anna answered,

“Hey, that’s what Auntie Nat calls me.”

“Yep,” Anna said smiling. She then turned her attention back to the TV as the movie started.

* * *

“Look, Daddy. Teacher says ‘everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings,’” Lila said along with Zuzu.

“You say that really good, sweetie,” Natasha said,

“I got to play Zuzu when Cooper’s school performed this play. He played the younger version of George,” Lila answered.

“Aww, that’s so sweet.”

Once the credits were over, everyone made their way to the other end of the main room where a table was set for dinner. In the middle, was a freshly cooked turkey.

Anna prayed and then everyone began eating, enjoying all the food (all catered except for the turkey) and sharing stories of the past year.

“I’d like to propose a toast. To the best Christmas ever,” Steve said raising his glass.

“To the best Christmas ever,” everyone said together.

"And may your Christmas be a Christmas to believe in.” Natasha added. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement as she silently sang the second to last phrase of Matthew West’s song in her head.

“Every Christmas is a Christmas to believe in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> malyutka: little one


	17. Just A Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…my little dance trilogy got turned into a four-logy. Is that even a word? Oh well, it is now:) No copyright infringement intended on the song title or the lyric used in this little piece. Hope you all enjoy.

Lila was so excited about seeing Auntie Nat and Uncle Steve. She was more looking forward to seeing Natasha than she was Steve. They didn’t get much time together when she came to the farm about a month ago. Now that it was summer vacation, Mommy agreed that they could take a vacation to see Daddy, Uncle Steve, and Auntie Nat.

“Will Auntie Anna be there too?” she asked as they rode in the car to the airport.

“I’m sure she will, Sweetie,” Laura answered.

“Yay!” Lila squealed with excitement.

Within ten minutes, Laura and the kids were arriving at the airport, going through security, and boarding a plane headed for DC. The plan was for Coulson to pick them up so they wouldn’t have a problem with the new security system on base. Ever since the attack back in 2014, Coulson upgraded the security system since the last one got shot out by gunfire.

Coulson immediately spotted them as they entered the airport terminal.

“Good to see you again, Laura,” he said shaking her hand.

“You too, Sir,” she replied.

After retrieving their luggage, they loaded everything up in Coulson’s car and drove back to base.

* * *

 

“You better not drop me this time, Barton,” Anna said teasingly.

“Hey, it was an accident,” Clint answered. The two of them have been working on a dance routine to the song “Waiting On the Night to Fall” by Casting Crowns. Anna had been planning this routine in her head for a while now and finally decided to try it with Clint as a partner. She had also been teaching Natasha the routine in hopes that one day she would dance it with him. Steve opted out claiming he wasn’t a dancer, especially ballet.

Anna pressed “play’ on her ipad and the music began where they had left off. As the music played, Clint did as he had been taught for this particular section. This time, he managed to hold Anna and not drop her.

“Much better,” she said as she tried to straighten up to stand. Clint, however, would not let her.

“You know, I could flip you on your back right now,” he teased.

“Barton!” Anna shouted. Clint immediately helped her regain her balance. “Thank you, now, let’s try the routine again.” Clint nodded and Anna walked over to restart the music.

As they were dancing, Natasha wandered in the training room to see what was going on. Beside her, Lila was there, holding her hand.

“Wow!” Lila exclaimed silently as she watched her daddy dance. It was just like when she had seen _The Nutcracker_ last Christmas.

For the next minute or so, Lila and Natasha watched as Clint and Anna danced together. They both held their breaths when Clint bent Anna back to do a low dip. Somehow he managed not to drop her. At the end of the song, Clint picked Anna up by her waist and carried her off. When the song was over, they came back to the center of the room. On the side, Natasha and Lila applauded.

“Daddy!” Lila exclaimed as she ran toward him. Clint bent down to scoop her into her arms.

“Hi, Sweetheart,” he said hugging her tightly.

“That was so amazing,” she said.

“You should thank your Auntie Anna, she’s the one who taught me to do that,” Clint answered as he set Lila down. She then ran towards Anna to give her a hug. Meanwhile, Clint went over to greet his wife and other two kids.

“Hi, Auntie Anna,” Lila said when she reached out for Anna to hug her.

“Hi, Sweetie. Did you like the dance?”

“I liked it very much. So does that mean you’re a dancer like Auntie Nat?”

“Well, Auntie Nat’s the better dancer,” Anna replied smiling.

“Does Auntie Nat know how to dance what you and Daddy just did?”

“She does. do you want to see her dance?”

“Yes, please!” Lila exclaimed.

“Why don’t you go ask her yourself and see what she says.”

“OK, and maybe Mommy and Cooper and Nathaniel could watch too.”

“Don’t forget Uncle Steve. He always likes to see when his wife dances,” Anna reminded her.

“OK, why don’t you ask Uncle Steve and I’ll go ask Auntie Nat,” Lila answered.

“OK, sounds good.”

Within five minutes, the arrangements were made. Natasha would dance with Clint while everyone watched.

* * *

 

Natasha dropped down to one knee to do what Anna had taught her the day she became a prima ballerina. Ever since she learned this simple phrase and what it meant, she always did whenever she was about do something she was nervous about. It made her feel at ease.

“Ya znayu. Ya tvoi, Gospodin,” she whispered. She then took her position for the first part of the dance.

“Go easy on her, Clint,” she heard Anna say. “This is the first time she’s danced this routine.”

“I will. If you think about it, this will just be like a training session,” she heard Clint answer.

“A training session. That’s what this is, a training session,” Natasha said to herself. On her left, everyone was sitting either on the floor or the bench.

The music began and Natasha watched Clint dance the opening part. He then came over and took her hand to pull her to her feet.

“You can do this, Nat,” he whispered to her. Natasha nodded/

“He’s waiting on the night to fall. The old man’s coming to call, but you don’t see the writing on the wall,” the artist sang. Clint took Natasha’s hand and the two of them were dancing. Since this was the first time Natasha had ever danced the routine, and due to the fact that it had been a while since she had danced this particular song, some of the elements she couldn’t remember, but the words of the song and the part that Clint was dancing helped her remember.

Natasha let out a silent gasp when Clint covered her eyes with his hands. She flinched when he grabbed her hands and held them behind her back at the wrists.

“It’s just a training exercise,” she whispered to herself as she tried to break free.

Clint didn’t let her go, instead he led her across the floor as if she was a prisoner. She wanted to scream, but then that would ruin the routine and scare Lila.

Finally, the part came where she could break free, and when she did, she felt relieved. For some reason, the way Clint was dancing his part with her made her a little nervous.

Her relief was short-lived. Clint grabbed her hand and held it tightly, both their fingernails digging into each other’s palms.

He didn’t, and he wouldn’t let her go.

She tried to pull away, but instead he twirled her around hard and then bent her back for the dip.

She flinched when she felt his hand touch her left side below her ribs. She wasn’t exactly prepared for this part.

“It’s just a dance. It’s not real,” she whispered to herself, however the panic was growing stronger. Clint brought her back up and continued on with the rest of the dance.

“Calm,” Natasha said to herself. Another gasp escaped her lips when she felt her feet leaving the floor.

Now she did want to scream.

“Shh. It’s just a dance, Nat. I’m not going to hurt you,” she heard Clint whisper. And with that, she closed her eyes and let Clint carry her off.

When she was finally on her feet, Clint held her steady, for she looked like she was about to collapse from the intensity of the dance. Her heart was beating fast and it didn’t seem like it was going to slow down.

“It’s over, Nat. The song’s over,” Clint whispered softly. Natasha closed her eyes and she felt Clint arms wrap around her.

For the next few minutes, the room was absolutely silent. Everyone was somewhat confused by what was going on.

“Uncle Steve, is everything alright?” Lila asked worriedly. ’

“I don’t know, Sweetie. Stay here for a second,” Steve answered. He then got up and walked over to where Natasha and Clint were standing. From what he could see, the way they were standing reminded him of when Clint had to hold her when she had a panic attack during their wedding.

As he got closer, he could hear Natasha’s quiet sobs as she hung on to Clint. Her face was buried in his chest. Hoping he wouldn’t spook her, he gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Nat, you OK?” he whispered. Natasha turned her head and looked at Steve, whose face was full of concern.

“I’m alright,” she responded. “It just felt so real.”

“It was only a dance, Nat, and you did good. I didn’t even notice when you started to panic,” Steve responded. Natasha gave him a slight smile, which quickly disappeared.

“I was terrified the whole time,” she whispered as she left Clint’s arms. Steve opened his and she relaxed against his chest.

“But you did it, and look, even Lila is smiling,” he said directing her gaze over by the bench.

“I hope she liked it.”

“I know she did.”

After giving her one more hug, the three of them walked back toward the others.

“Auntie, Nat! That was beautiful!” Lila exclaimed. Clint almost opened his mouth to speak, but when he noticed Natasha kneeling down to give Lila a hug, he decided against it.

“Thank you, mlylutka,” she answered.

“When I grow up, I want to be a dancer, just like you and Auntie Anna and Daddy.”

Natasha smiled at what Lila had just said. She would definitely be a truly remarkable dancer.

A prima ballerina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> malyutka: little one  
> ya znayu. Ya tvoi, Gospodin: I know I"m yours, Lord.


	18. Happy Easter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm a day late on this, but Happy Easter! Christ has risen! He has risen, Indeed. Hope you all enjoy this. No copyright infringement intended on the movie title that is mentioned. Also, this lands between "Renewal" and "One Plus One Equals"

Natasha was still in awe at how amazing the service had been. From the message from Pastor Evans to Anna’s solo and even the ending song, everything had been amazing!

“I wish Laura could’ve come. She would’ve loved it,” she said to Steve.

“Yeah, me too. But Clint told us that Nathaniel was sick, so she couldn’t make the trip,” Steve responded.

“I hope he’s feeling better. I bought him a new outfit for Easter.”

“I’m sure he’ll like it. You know, if we had a little boy,” he said, lightly touching her stomach. “He would look adorable.”

“Yes he would. Anna helped me pick it out at the store,” Natasha answered. “What was your favorite part of the service?”

“I really like Anna’s solo. It was very powerful,” Steve answered. “What was your favorite part?”

“I liked the ending song, ‘Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble?’ It was a great way to end the service.”

“We always sing that song every Easter,” Anna said joining in. Her voice was still a bit raspy from all of the singing. She had to be at church at 7:30 in the morning to sing for both services that her church had.

“Your voice seems to be getting a little better,” Steve remarked.

“It’s getting there. That’s why I’m drinking this,” she answered holding up a coffee cup.

“Tea?” Natasha asked.

“Yep, and with lots of honey to make it sweet.”

“This is your captain speaking. We will be landing at our destination in about ten minutes. Please make sure your seatbelts are fastened and your seats are in an upright position. Thank you for flying Air Hawkeye,” Clint announced over the loud speaker. Everyone busted out laughing.

“Clint, we’re not on a commercial flight. It’s just a quinjet,” Steve joked.

“Hey, who says I can’t have fun with you guys?” Clint asked.

* * *

 Laura was out on the front porch the second she saw Clint leading the way. She knew that he always parked the quinjet far away.

“Well, don’t you look pretty,” Clint said, coming up the steps. She was dressed in a spaghetti-strap dress that had pink flowers all over it and her long hair was pulled back in a ponytail.

“Bought it yesterday,” she said.

“Well it looks wonderful on you,” he said, giving her a kiss. “Where’s the kids?”

“Well, Nathaniel’s asleep, but Lila and Cooper are watching a movie. I told them they couldn’t open their baskets until you got here,” Laura answered.

“Is he feeling better?”

“Yeah. The doctor gave him an antibiotic. Hopefully it helps.”

“Happy Easter, Daddy!” Lila exclaiming, running from inside the house. She was dressed in some play clothes since they weren’t going anywhere that day.

“Happy Easter, sweetheart. Was the Easter bunny good to you?” he asked, picking her up to give her a hug.

“I don’t know. I haven’t opened my basket yet,” she answered.

‘Well let’s go inside and open it. And Uncle Steve and Auntie Nat and Auntie Anna bought you gifts as well,” Clint said as he set her back down on the ground.

“Yay!”

* * *

 While the ham and potatoes and other foods were cooking in the kitchen, everyone gathered in the living room to watch the kids open their gifts. Since Nathaniel was still asleep, Laura opened his gifts.

“Thanks, Anna. He’ll look adorable in this,” Laura said holding up the outfit. It was a light purple shirt with a darker purple tie to match. Also included were khaki pants and little brown dress shoes.

“I hope it fits him. That was my first time ever buying baby clothes,” Anna returned.

“Here you go, malyutka,” Natasha said, handing Lila her gift bag. “This is from your Uncle Steve and me.” Smiling ear to ear, Lila tore off the paper and opened to box to reveal a light pink sundress with little flowers sewn along the waist, a white sweater and socks, pink shoes to match, and ribbons for her hair.

“Thanks. Auntie Nat,” Lila said as she went over to hug Natasha.

“Here you go, Sweetie. Happy Easter,” Anna said. Handing Lila a pink bag with a yellow chick on it. Inside was a pink leotard, pink tights, and little pink ballet slippers.”

“I love it! Thanks, Auntie Anna!” Lila exclaimed as she hugged Anna. “Now I can learn to dance just like you and Auntie Nat,”

“You bet, Sweetie, and there’s something else inside the bag too.” Lila let go of Anna and went back to the bag and pulled out a book titled _An Easter Carol_ , as well as a movie with the same title.

“It’s the story of Jesus,” she exclaimed.

“Yep, now you have a new book to read,” Anna replied, smiling.

“Thanks, Auntie Anna.”

Cooper was next to receiver his gifts. From Steve and Natasha, he received a nerf gun (which was against Clint’s better judgement) and from Anna, he received a few new Hot Wheels cars and a baseball glove.

“Thanks, Auntie Anna. I like it,” Cooper said, trying the glove on.

“You’re welcome. Maybe you can find a little league team around here and join up.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Can we watch the movie now, Mommy?” Lila asked.

“Sure we can,” Laura answered. Lila handed the DVD for Clint to open so he could get it set up.

* * *

 About halfway through the movie, Nathaniel started crying, so Laura had to go attend to him. Since Laura didn’t want to miss part of the movie, Clint paused it while she went upstairs. Lila followed because she wanted to try on her new dress and shoes.

A short five minutes later, Laura and Lila were back.

“You look pretty, Lila,” Anna said as Lila twirled in front of the TV.”

“Thanks Auntie Anna. Did you help Auntie Nat pick this out?”

“Yes I did,” Anna answered. Lila smiled as she sat back down in front of the TV. Clint resumed the movie while Laura quickly snuck into the kitchen to make Nathaniel a bottle. She couldn’t help but laugh at some of the funny parts in the movie.

Right as the music box angel, Hope, began singing her song about the true meaning of Easter, Natasha bolted up from her chair and headed straight for the bathroom.

 “Ugh, I’ll be glad when this is over,” Steve said to Clint as they heard the door slam.

“I remember when Laura was sick. Ugh, worst weeks of my life,” Clint answered.

“You weren’t even here when I was sick, so what are you talking about?” Laura asked jokingly.

“I felt like I was here with the number of times you texted me,” Clint returned.

“Quiet guys, this is the important part,” Lila spoke up. Everyone turned their attention to the movie.

“And those who came far, who followed this start, were seeing a heavenly sight. A heavenly sight,” Hope sang. Already, Laura was starting to shed a few tears.

The movie was over, and Natasha still hadn’t come back from the bathroom. While Clint and Laura set the table for the meal, Steve went upstairs to check on his wife.

* * *

  Natasha lay on the bed in the guest bedroom with a blanked pulled up to her chin. She looked a little pale, and it was starting to make Steve worried.

“Nat, you OK?” he asked, sitting on the bed. She nodded slowly and reached for his hand.

“I’m tired of this,” she answered.

“I know, but in a month or so it will be all over,” he soothed.

“I hope you’re right.”

“I know I’m right,” he said, kissing her forehead. “You just stay here and rest. We can leave early if we have to.”

“No, I’ll be fine. I just need to rest.”

“OK. You come down when you’re felling better. We’ll save you some food,” Steve said.

‘You better,” she joked lightly. He then leaned into kiss her forehead.

 “I love you,”

“Love you too,” she answered.

He was almost out of the room when he heard her voice again.

“Steve?” she asked. He turned around to look at her.

“Yeah?”

“Happy Easter.”

“You too, Nat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> malyutka: little one  
> To hear the song talked about in this story, click [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTftFgbRyRk)


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